Just Let Go (Harry Styles)

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Morning of Love

Chapter Twenty-Seven

My eyes slowly opened to sun shining through the windows. I stretched my hands up yawning getting the kinks out of my body from sleep, that is until I jumped in surprise of the warm human body laying next to me. Harry!

My slight jump did not seem to affect him, it was like he was a corpse. My mind quickly started faster then it had ever started before in the morning. I remembered everything that happened last night.

Finally, my feelings were out there on the table. Harry's confession last night was like reaching the top of the highest and hardest moutain to climb in the world. We had kissed last night too... and it was not like our kiss in the corridor, but like a dam busting and the water flowing through. We poured our feelings out to each other through our kisses last night.

I closed my eyes as I pictured his moist soft lips on mine, remembering his gentleness. A gentleness that was such a change to his behavior. I couldn't believe I had asked him to stay with me last night! That was a big first for me. I usually don't allow men to spend the night with me... but, this man was the one I loved. My heart started to beat faster and I giggled like an idiot. I quickly covered my mouth with my hands, hoping that I had not waken Harry. Glancing over, he was still a corpse.

I peered over him as he slept there beside me. His curls were rough and uncontrolled, falling into his face, I softly pushed his hair back, but it fell back into its original state.

"What are you giggling for?" Utterly surprised, I pulled my hand quickly away and sat up. Harry was awake! How should I act now? We spent the night together and we love each other, does that mean we can be normal now with each other? Even though, this whole relationship was not normal.

"Um, nothing really." I mumbled out.

"Come on, tell me. I thought we were done with secrets." He reached his hand up and slid it down my cheek. Those old electric stings I had felt before were back and just as nice as before. If someone would have told me yesterday that Harry would be confessing his love for me and cuddling with me all night, I would have laughed in their face, such a change from the past few days. The past few days. At that moment, I remembered all my heartache and pain. Pain and heartache that Harry put me through because of his way in being in denial. I also remembered what Susan had said to me at the party. I'm a whore in her eyes, and who knows how many others! What if Harry knew I loved him and simply said all those things last night to play with me, what if the other guys of One Direction were in on it too! Again, I had going on inside an internal war of emotions. My face went blank and my eyes fell distant.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Harry asked sitting up to pull me into his arms. I pulled away and got out of bed. His eyes opened wide and he started to fidget. He tried to speak again, my I quieted him. What should I do? The question repeated itself over and over again. Harry now knew my heart, if he was going to continue pulling on my heartstrings, my heart will surely buckle under the pressure and fail.

"Kristen, what's wrong?" He had slide his way over to the edge of the bed on my side and had placed his feet on the floor. He did not stand, but stayed sitting, looking up into my eyes with his. He looked worried, but he tried to give me a small sincere smile.

I stared at him for a moment, neither of us speaking. He must have been waiting on me, heck, I was waiting on me. What should I say? My mouth suddenly could not find any words, but I gave it my best shot and said whatever came to my heart.

"It was wonderful to hear that you tell me you loved me last night." I started out, and Harry's eyes grew hopeful, "but," I said next. It was like the word but was a sucker punch to the gate, Harry release a long sigh of air. I pressed on, "you have hurt me, Harry. My first week in England have been hell on earth. One day, your super sweet to me, and even went as far as trying to kissing me. My heart was on cloud nine, floating innocently toward your hands, and what happens next? You reject me and push me away like..." I stumbled here as tears started to fill my eyes as my heart remembered all those miserable and confused times. Where I was a victim of a crime I had no idea I had committed because Harry never gave me a proper trial. I also saw Susan's sneering face flash across my eyes, whispering the word whore. "Like a whore, Harry!" Tears ran down my face as I watched Harry from my standing position, a little aways from the bed. Harry stood frozen and did not say anything in reply. When it felt like an eternity had passed, and he did not speak, I spoke again. "Please get out, I love you, Harry. But, I just can't-"

"No!" Harry shouted, catching me off guard. "I'm sorry for what I did to you this past week. I'm so sorry." He stood and tried to reach out and touch my cheek, but I stumbled back, out of his reach. The extended hand he had reached out to me with fell limp at his side and he looked down, his curls covering his eyes. Slowly Harry made his way down to his knees at my feet, tears were stilling burning my eyes, but I couldn't stop. I was still on my emotional roller coaster and it was like I got on and then the exit never came.

"Please, Kristen..." Harry's deep and husky voice spoke softly. He looked up at me after his words had faded and in his eyes, was a determination I had never seen before in anyone's eyes; Determination filled with love. "I love you." He started again after the  the silence. "I love you so much that I was scared. I was frightened of this love that I have for you. Why must it be that love makes you feel more vulnerable than anything else in your life? I was scared because, I have never felt a love like this before and I am sure I never will again. Kristen, I know I have been the opposite of how a man in love should act, but, that is because this love is more mature than my entire being. Please, don't leave me. I'm sorry, truly sorry..."

The room echoed with his words, and as they echoed, the sounds of all his words went straight to my cold heart and warmly caressed it like Harry's kisses on my lips last night. I know that we can't go back and start this week over, but Harry's apology was like starting fresh. I suddenly remembered a quote from my childhood, tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes. As I looked down at Harry on his knees, looking up into my eyes, I realized Harry wanted a fresh start too.

I kneeled down in front of him, so the we were equals; We were just Kristen and Harry. I smiled through my tear stained face and Harry reached his hand up again to wipe away any lingering tears and then caressed it with his warm hand. I leaned into his palm and closed my eyes. "I love you." I whispered quietly. "I love you too." I heard whispered back. I smiled and my whole body relaxed. Harry gathered me in his arms and held me in his lap, his back up against the bed. I felt warm and loved. Harry's arms around me felt like heaven and it was that moment that I truly felt Harry's hand that was squeezing my heart like a lemon, had finally relaxed and was trying to rebuild it.

We stayed like that for a while until we heard a knock on the door. It was Louis. "Hey Kristen, Simon called me. One Direction and you have been summoned again. We were asked to arrive immediately."

"Okay!" I called back. Management wanted to see us? It must be about my hospital trip. What could I tell them as an excuse? There is no way I could say that Susan had called me a whore and Harry's rejections were getting out of hand that I wanted to leave. It would not due because, to them, this is my job. I should be used to it. The thought of seeing Susan again after what happened at the album release party was humiliating and hurtful. How could I go and face management today?

"Oh and have you seen Harry?" Louis voice broke my thoughts as he called through the door again. Uh oh! What to say, this was starting to feel awkward. Of course I have seen Harry. I was in his arms at this very moment!

"I am in here too, Louis. I heard you." Harry called in his deep morning voice. My heart flipped and I blushed a bit. I wonder if Louis is thinking we... did it. Oh no! I blushed harder. "Why is your face so red?" Harry asked smirking at me. He was smirking at me. He was trying to be playful, like the Harry I first met.

"I... uh... well that is... Nothing." I spoke very unconfidently. "I normally turn red in the morning." I peered up into his green, memorizing eyes and he smiled. "Liar." He stated as his face inched closer to mine. I looked at his lips, the lips that had kissed me so passionately last night. Slowly started to close my eyes and inching toward him, wanting a kiss. The spell between us was broken however when we heard a loud noise come from the front room. "Sorry, I tripped!" Louis called.

We looked at each other and both laughed. Oh Louis! It was nice to hear Harry's laugh again. He had been so serious this past week. I really liked this morning Harry. I snuggled up into his arms and closed my eyes, relaxing. "Hey, no time for sleep. Management wants to see us, which includes you." Harry said kissing my cheek softly. Management! My conscious cried and I tensed. I didn't want to see Susan, how could I see that woman? "What's wrong, Kristen?" Harry's voice was not soft and playful anymore, he was now concerned. I have to tell him or else this trip to management will be unmanageable. I know that if I go in, knowing that Harry loves me and knows about what happened, I would feel much calmer.

Harry then suddenly asked, "What really made you run the night before last at the album release party?" I took a deep breath and then spoke. "Susan had talked to me..." I paused here for a second and then continued. "She called me a whore."