AKA My Boyfriend

Chapter 32

I was running on the treadmill. My heart beating in my ears, my legs burning, my lungs reaching for air, my music blaring through my ear buds. I guess the unhealthy sex was linked to my physical exertion thing I used to do, back when I was a virgin.

Which, I am re-virginizing if that makes since. Meaning, I am not going to have sex and I'm gonna pray to God and see if he'll take me back. Just something I learned crazy Chrisians do. When I can't take it anymore, I stop and gulp down water, barely able to swallow.

Harrison decided to take me to the gym, in hopes it would make me feel better. I was about to keep running when Harrison stopped me. He pulled my ear buds out. "You are going to hurt yourself." He tells me.

I waddle into his arms. My legs were hurting really bad, so all I could do was waddle. "I'm so stupid..." I say, his arms wrapping around my sweaty body. "You aren't stupid. Jake has flaws. Not saying it's right, he was really shitty to you, but maybe if you guys talk about it, he could tell you what happened."

He walks me out of the gym and we hop into his car. I always wanted a car, but had no use for it in New York. I don't have a driver's license. "I had sex with him. And called him mean things. I feel bad." I say, crossing my arms. Harrison doesn't start the car just yet.

"I quit college to get married to him, because that's what he wanted. And then he cheats on me on our honeymoon of all times." I say, wishing we never went to that stupid thing with all his coworkers for that stupid ultimate photo shoot.

"You had sex with him? While mad at him?"

I nod. "That's actually kinda hot... But anyway, that's really weird. What so you just made him sit there like a good boy-" I slap his arm as he laughs. "No, kinda. I am not talking about my sex life with you." I laugh.

Harrison's eyes lock with mine and he just smiles. My heart skips a beat. Jake used to look at me like that...

Harrison barely reached forward, his lips softly grazing my cheek. "You... are my best friend, Tom. You deserve better." He says, his face red. I am reminded of highschool very suddenly. His protecting me, fighting people who hurt my feelings, asking me to school dances when nobody else would ask...

I grab his face and press my lips to his. He kisses back, but barely, then pulling away abruptly. "I shouldn't do that..." He says. He starts the car and I silently stare at his hands on the steering wheel.

What just happened.

He opens the door of his apartment where I have been staying and I smell the ramen noodle smell and find a smile making it onto my face.

How could I not see that before? All this time, all these heart breaks, I had always been comforted by Harrison. He has always been the one to tell me I was perfect. But Jake still lingers in my mind.

Jake

Jake was so great. We had so much going for us. I love Jake... I miss him... I love him so much...

Harrison drops his keys on the counter. "I know you hurt... But cheating on Jake back won't fix your problems. Plus, I loved you in highschool, we are both... different now. I moved on." He says. I smile.

"But what would you give for one night? Even if it's only one..."

Harrison and I stand with our faces an inch apart. "Then it would make me love you again. I can't take only one." He says, his arms wrapping around my waist. I look up at him and hug him tight. "Maybe it doesn't have to be one." I say into his shirt.

He sighs. "But you are in love with Jake... I think you guys could have a great future. I enjoy being the one you go to for comfort. Really. I don't want that to change."

I nod. "Okay..."

He kisses my cheek and smooths my hair off my forehead. "If you want to get back at Jake, you'll have to find someone else to do it." He says.

And I should feel grateful for him, but I feel guilty.