AKA My Boyfriend

Chapter 7

"Will, it was the most amazing night ever! Walking in downtown Manhattan, his arm around me, the skyscrapers, he even let me wear his jacket!" I fall onto Wills lap and he scoffs. "It was so magical." I sigh, hugging his pillow. He rolls his eyes.

"You make me sick, with those big eyes. You remind me of a puppy." He shoves me off and I hit the floor with a thud. I just lay there, a dreamy smile on my face. "It was perfect," I say to him. He nods. "I know. You've said that 3 hours ago when you got home." He laughs.

It was the greatest. I still can feel Jake's hands on me from last night, tender but experienced. God, I was so in love. I can't even breathe. I just want to kiss Jake so much... I want to kiss him and hold him and never let go.

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It was me who ruined it all. I did. That night was so perfect, I experienced something I never thought I would, and he showed me that he liked me. But it felt... wrong. I didn't feel like I was supposed to be in the wake of something so perfect.

I ignored Jake's calls. I ignored his texts. I deleted Tinder and I logged off Instagram. I wasn't going to speak to Jake ever again. I can't.

"We are going to get evicted if we don't pay this months rent, man." Will huffed, plopping next to me at the foosball table. I sighed. "I know. But I got fired from my last job, and I'm NOT going to model. Cuz I'll see Jake, and I don't wanna." I say, stubbornly.

Will rolled his eyes. "I thought it was perfect."

"Exactly."

Will's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Jake is awesome." He says. "Exactly. He's amazing, nice, funny, handsome, not to mention the sexiest man I ever saw in my life... everything that he has deserved someone else. Someone who isn't like me and can pay their own rent." I huff.

Will gave it a long thought. "Sure thing." He said. I raised a brow and decided to go to my room, leaving my phone on the counter. I didn't think Will would steal my phone. But he did. And I wasn't aware until I heard knocking on my door at 2 am.

I peeled myself off my bed, sticky with sweat from a fitful sleep. I peeked through the hole- Jake is at my house at 2 am.

I debated everything in my head.

Perfect Jake, standing there at 2 am, just to check on me because I ignored him. I hate being alive right now. With all that's going on in my life...

My parents practically disowned me because they had bigger plans for me and instead I decided to write books. My siblings being forced to take their side, I'm broke, I'm losing my apartment, and everything is just... stupid. And then there's Jake. Don't get me started on Jake.

Perfect, loving, unique, breathtaking, husband material, Jake. The Jake who makes me feel special. But I don't deserve it. I don't deserve his time and energy. I don't deserve him.

I start crying under the pressure as Jake sits against my door. I sniffle and wipe my face, but new tears fall down to replace them. I can't.

I can't let Jake in.

So I don't.

I go back to bed and cry myself to sleep.