"lisa, it's not that easy!"
jennie's all sober now.
"it isn't. so you pass by getting wasted every night. and if you can, sneak out to see me. and then what? tell me you love me-"
"because i do!"
"-and then fuck me. leave me the next day-"
"baby it's not like that-"
"then what is it, ms. kim? when can you be sober and conscious of your actions and stop blaming the fucking alcohol for it?!"
a set of curses and yells were thrown off into each other in pranpriya manoban's living room. small but cozy. warm but lonely.
"lisa...let's please stop arguing. i don't want us-"
"i can't believe i'm still fighting alone over this withering relationship of ours. damn it, are we even still together?" lisa who was a few inches taller than jennie paced back, only to light up a cigarette she've kept from her pocket before jennie came.
"you're smoking now?" jennie scoffed.
"it's not like it'd bother you." lisa answered shortly, that even after the mess they've created she still have an ounce of strength to fool around, puffing the smoke onto jennie's face. "fucking shit!"
"you threw up on my shirt fuckton of times and did you hear me complaining?" lisa didn't even sounded curious. it was dripping with sarcasm and anger.
"maybe because i was dozed off," jennie replied nonchalantly, falling all over the place.
eventually, jennie gave in.
hugging lisa by the waist, she laid her head against lisa's back, hoping she'd turn around and fix things. like you could fix a broken glass window without replacing them.
"i'm sorry for treating you like this, okay? i'm sorry i'm always there when i need you. i'm sorry for avoiding you for weeks. i'm sorry for putting you through this. let's just - please, be okay again." lisa sighed.
"it's so hard to hate you," lisa chucked, finally facing the woman who gave her so little, when she had given her all.
"you're only sorry because at this moment, for the fuckton of times we have argued, i am ready to leave." lisa bites her lip, tears streaming down her cheeks as jennie tries to wipe them off, kissing them away. "that i've finally gotten out of your manipulations. saying sorry even if you're not. wishing that it'll pass like every night."
"n-no, it's not like that-"
"come on miss kim, stop lying to me. to yourself at least." lisa managed to remove jennie's clingy hands who tried to halt her but fails.
"maybe it's time to face the truth. how much you loathe yourself. because you actually choose me, and not your goddamn house filled with dollars and richness. you're in denial, because you just can't let go of both, because you damn need it like fucking water. but baby deep down you know that i can hold you tight for all the sleepless nights you're going to have, but i'm not the one to keep you living like you were born to be. we just can't happen."
lisa leaves like it wasn't her home.
jennie begged into nothingness.
-
lights blurred all the problems and bullshit she is going through. there she sees the happiness. for the time being, at least.
"pranpriya, look at you growing up!" jackson wang, his friend, greeted her with a fist bump. lisa rolls her eyes and yawns. "what's so fun with crowded room and bitter drinks?" disinterest came out from her plump lips but her eyes were showing the opposite.
