eyes closed

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the uproar of the sea of crowd brought her to life, euphoria reaching its peak. the sound intensified as she waved her hands to them, making eye contact to as many fans as she can, a huge grin never leaving her face. eyes glistening and heart jack-hammering; however the loud applauses and cheers from her fans never silenced the question she have been wanting to ask all night. is lisa here?

-
CHAEYOUNG

"annyeonghaseyo rosies i'm so glad to meet you tonight.." the sweet voice of the musician on stage uplifted the crowd's noises, the pink light reflecting onto her glistening eyes.

"i have a question you guys..." the crowd went silent. all eyes were on the musician. no one dared to move a muscle, no one dared to blink. rosé paused for a moment. she was thinking again. her thoughts blaring loudest compared to the crowd. she smiles bitterly.

"don't leave us hanging or we'll make new memes about you again." one rosie from the crowd threatened-joke, rosé producing an offended "hey!" and the crowd bursting to laughter once more. "alright alright you impatient ass i will," she surrendered, then excusing her impolite expression.

("OMG i made rosé cuss, i'm tweeting this y'all").

"back to my question.."

"why is it that, the more you give, the less you receive? why do we always get mixed up with the wrong people and make us think they are the right one? i mean i did believed on the 'they're the one if they literally take your breath away.' like a joowhangie in land." rosé stifles a laugh, the crowd murmuring softly and laughing at her little attempt to joke.

"how could we believe in such promises so tender yet so strong that would tear us together apart after all those fights. after all those dates and 5 AM calls. after all the sacrifices, after all the efforts we give to be there for them. how do you even get over a love that brought you the galaxies, made your eyes shed tears over a sunrise view with them. how do you not miss them everyday...how do you force yourself not to miss them everyday because they don't miss you back anymore. how do you move forward without wishing things to go back to the way they were, to the way they should be."

"BITCH WHO HURT YOU!"

"I KNOW KILLING IS ILLEGAL BUT WITH YOU EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE."

"I LOVE YOU ROSEANNE PARK CHAEYOUNG YOU'LL GET BETTER SOON."

"OMG IS SHE A STRAIGHT OR A LITTLE GAY OMG ROSIE I NEED A NAME."

her tender laugh halted most of the violent reactions of the crowd. "i will not work on another comeback if you will keep this up," she threatened, eyes narrowed to give a special effect. multiple rosies thought to their heads, "isn't that your agency's greatest job," but kept it to themselves, they don't want rosé to tear up further most especially that it's her first tour.

"so this song is dedicated to the ones who did nothing but love till it hurt like hell, till they let it hurt more than it should be."

i...i know where to lay
i know what to say
it's all the same

anyone who looked close enough, anyone who knew rosie too well, would know she is back to memory lane. behind the happy and painful stories of her scars. to the ones that made her question every piece of worth she thought wasn't enough. because if she was, lisa would have stayed. lisa would not have thought of loving someone else while she was gone reaching her dreams. but maybe because reaching her dreams meant being selfish. because lisa needed her too. and she wasn't there to fill the coldness of the other side of the bed. because she needed someone to care for her and the most important person of her life wasn't within arms reach.

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