Sting :||: Michael Clifford

Keep telling yourself that you've been playing nice

Carly's POV

After I leave Calum's house, my mom takes me back home. I'm so mad at him right now that I don't even know how to express it. I got into my room and finish putting away all the stuff I brought home. I was gone for a while so I had a lot to go through. I sit down on the floor with a few shirts that I never really wear anymore and I open on of dresser drawers. I take out some of the shirts that are in that drawer and that's when I see Michael's red flannel. I set the other shirts down, pick it up, and unfold it. I bring it up to my nose and can smell the faint smell of him. I instantly start thinking about the day he gave this to me. 

Flashback

I stop at my locker on the way to lunch so I can put my bag away. I feel arms wrap around my waist and I turn around to see Michael standing there with a huge smile on his face. He then pulls out a fairly large box. 

"What's this?" I ask as he hands it to me. 

"I know that your birthday's coming up, but I'm not going to be here for it since I'm going on tour, but I wanted to give you this and I wanted to be here when you opened it." I look up at him and smile. I carefully untie the ribbon that's tied around it and lift the lid off. Michael takes the lid from my hand and I take out the tissue paper and put my hand over my mouth. 

"You didn't." I say as I take it out of the box. 

"I thought that since I'm going away, you'd want something to remember me by. I know how much you love that thing because the first time you saw it, you ended up falling asleep in it the first night you stayed the night."

"I love it Mikey." I pull him into a tight hug. I couldn't ask for someone better than him. He's so kind and considerate. He knows everything about me and I know everything about him. It sucks that he won't be here for my birthday, but I'm really happy he's doing something that means so much to him. I put the flannel on and he grabs my hands and interlaces our fingers. We walk to the cafeteria and sit down with our friends. 

End of flashback 

I feel a tear slowly fall down my cheek as I take the shirt away. I then remember that I have a few other things that he probably wants back and I know I have stuff at his house too. I wipe my tears away and pick up my phone. I dial his number and it doesn't take long for him to pick up. 

"Hello?" He asks. 

"Hey Mike, so I was putting some stuff away and I found a few of your things and I'm not sure if- I'm going to drive to your house so I can return them to you and I can get my things."

"Okay, sounds like a plan." It's like he doesn't care anymore. I miss the Michael who used to care, but I guess this is my new reality. I hang up the phone and put a few more things in a box for him. I walk out of my room and grab the car keys. I walk out to the car and put the box in the backseat. I get in the driver's side and start the car. As I put my seat belt on, I begin to think of the crash. This is the first time I've gotten behind the wheel and I can feel the fear rising. I quickly take my seat belt and get out of the car. I take a few deep breaths and that's when I see my mom standing there. 

"It's okay not to be ready yet. I'll drive you." I smile. 

"Thank you." She smiles back and gets in the driver's side while I get in the passenger's. She starts the car and looks at me. 

"So, where were you headed?"

"I was gonna go to Michael's house. I still have his stuff and I want to give it back."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" She asks. 

"I have to be. I mean, I have to move on some day right?" The car ride to his house is spent in this almost awkward silence. When we get to his house, I see a car parked out front that I had never seen before. I get out of my car and grab the box. I walk up to the door and ring the doorbell. When the door opens I see Rose standing there with one of his hoodies on. Maybe my mom was right, I'm not ready for this. I go to speak, but then Michael comes up behind her, wrapping his hands around her waist, something he did with me all the time. 

"Oh hey Carly." Michael's voice rips me out of thought. 

"Hey, so um, here's your stuff. Can I come in?" I ask. He let's go of Rose and opens the door. I walk in and he shuts the door behind me. It's been awhile since I've been here, but I can do this. 

"So I couldn't really remember what's yours and my mom isn't here so we can go up to my room and look around for some stuff you might think is yours." 

"Okay." I say with a smile. We walk up to his room and Rose stays down stairs, thank god. We walk in and I see a few things scattered on the ground. 

"Sorry, I didn't really have time to clean up."

"No, it's totally fine." He smiles and walks over to a very small pile of clothes. 

"So judging on the fact that theses are girl clothes, and I'm not a girl, I'm assuming that these are yours." I pick the shirt up and see that it's a 5sos shirt I cut to make it a crop top. Michael gave this to me the day he came back for tour and I guess I left it here on accident. "I can get your a box if you need." 

"That would be great." He smiles and walks out of his room. I start looking around and i find the bracelet I gave to him on his seventeenth birthday and a few other things I got him. He comes back in the room with a medium sized box and we both start putting my things in there. 

"Did you talk with Calum?" He asks. 

"Yeah and it didn't go well."

"Oh, well what happened?"

"Just some stuff, it's fine."

"I'm sorry that things got all messy and you had to be the one to get hurt. I keep looking at the pictures that my mom showed to me and I see that both of us where so happy. I take pictures with Rose and a look at me with you and see that I look like the happiest person on this planet and then I see the ones of me and Rose and I can hardly recognize myself."

"What are you trying to say?" 

"I'm just saying that maybe it was a mistake to get with her. I don't remember what you and I had, but I can still feel it. Every time I see you I think about how much of an idiot I am for getting with Rose. We could have started over and things would have been okay. You never would have left and Calum would be fine."

"I think about that too. I think about how if you and I hadn't gotten into that car or I payed better attention to the road, you and I would still be together and none of this would have happened. I look at my car, or bedroom, or somewhere in town and all I can see is you. When I went to Melbourne, I didn't do that anymore and I didn't even think about you until the moment you showed up on my doorstep. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't done that." 

"I have a question."

"Anything." I say. 

"Did you come home for me or did you come home for Calum?" 

"I'm honestly not even sure. When you told me he wasn't dong well I couldn't help but think it was my fault, which I now know is true, but I also couldn't shake the feeling of being back home with you. Even though you're not mine anymore, that doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you." I feel a tear falls down my cheek and he wipes it away. I hadn't felt is touch in so long. He moves closer to me and soon I'm looking up at him. He puts his hand on my cheek and I can feel my heart starting to race. He leans down and my lips press against his. It felt like him and I were the only two on this Earth and I felt all of the sadness in me suddenly go away. We pull away and I smile, but he pushes himself off of me. 

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay."

"It's not. I have a girlfriend."

"But do you love her? Do you get the same feeling you have with me that you have with her?" I want nothing more than to have him again and I don't know if that's going to happen again, but it doesn't hurt to try. 

"I don't but-"

"Then what are doing with her when I'm right here." 

"I think you should go." 

"Just tell me Mike."

"We're over Carly and we have been for a while now. So take your things and get the hell out of my house." I angrily grab the box and walk out of his room. Why am I losing everyone I love?