Words Hurt

Never The Same

If he were to know, he didn’t know if he would hold himself back in time.

No pov~

Back in the room, Tails turned to Sonic. A mixture of worry, concern, and sadness washed over his expression as he recalled what he read. It was impossible; something he never knew had been done before. He choked back a sob, wondering of how much pain Eggman must have put his brother through before he had finally broke.

Sonic stared back, his eyes half-lidded, his ears pressed flat against his skull. His knuckles were curled, claws scraping across the surface of the table. His eyes were glossed over, tears gathering in the corner as he was about to cry. 

“Sonic, what has he done to you..” Tails trailed off, leaping forward to embrace his brother in a tight hug.

“Tails… I,” Sonic took a deep breath, his head coming to rest on the kit’s shoulder. His arms rose, bringing the younger one closer. He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as he let out a sob. “I didn’t want him to do it, but I couldn’t stop it! I couldn’t do anything! And, the worst part? It’s permanent!”

Tails stiffened, stunned by this news before it slowly turned to sorrow. “So, you mean, he succeeded in his plan. You’re… You’re a herm?” Tails asked, trying to get his head around it. 

He nodded slightly, but that’s all Tails needed. He bit his lip as Sonic continued his story anyway. “He experimented on me for the last two weeks, finishing his plan before Silver and Shadow came…”

Sonic glanced to the floor, ashamed of what he did. How he reacted. No one wanted a hero who couldn’t even protect himself from common threats. He had not only failed them but himself. His actions, had painted a larger target on his back. He could only wonder what would happen should his enemies find out. They would hunt him down, trying to use him for their own sick desires. He couldn’t put his friends through that.

“But, how did you even get caught? You’re always on high alert to your surroundings. Ever since…” Tails trailed off, looking at Sonic, as he broke the hug to meet his eyes.

“I just wasn’t paying attention this time.”

Tails eyes narrowed, not convinced by this. “Sonic, I know that’s not what really happened, and you know it.” He reached out, taking Sonic’s uninjured hand in his own. “It’s okay, you can tell me,” Tails tried to reassure with a small smile. 

He sighed then looked away. “I kissed Shadow,” he started hesitantly. “I told him I loved him, only for him to reject me… So, I ran off, not paying attention, and Eggman captured me,” he explained, his chest tightened at the mention of Shadow, causing him to nearly choke. He sucked in a breath, snuffling slightly before he furiously whipped his eyes with his free hand.

Tails blinked a few times, surprised, as he took in this new information. “Woah, okay, didn’t see that coming…” Sonic's head snapped up, fear in his eyes, causing Tails to raise his eyes in defence. “Not that I would think any different of you! You’re my big brother, and I would never leave you over something so stupid.” He squeezed the hand he held as he tilted his head to the side. “Don’t let what Shadow said get to you, okay? He’s just mad cause he can’t eat my amazing chilli dogs,” he joked, smiling a little. It was returned, although the smile was a bit dimmer than it used to be. But, that was expected. Tails secretly vowed that he would do everything he could to help his brother. No matter what happens he would always be there to help him through it's, just like when they were younger. Oh how far they came already... 

"I know how hard this is going to be for you, but, now, you have to be more careful about who your around since you’re a herm. Other males will be able to sense if you’re in heat, which puts you in danger,” Tails said, letting go of his hand, grabbing something from his desk.

"What are you doing?" Sonic asked, whipping his eyes.

Tails walked back to him, handing him a chaos emerald. He looked down, seeing that it was the yellow one. He blinked, it reminded him of his brother’s fur color.  "Keep that with you at all times, that way, you have a way to escape. You're going to have to learn to use your chaos abilities to keep you safe, but it’ll be worth it," he explained, a soft smile adorning his features.

“T-Tails, I,” he started, stunned. His voice held gratitude, surprise, and an undertone of guilt. He shook his head, trying to give it back. “I can’t take this. You need this…”

“I don’t. While they are useful, I can make fake ones if needed. You need the real replica!”

“No, I don’t. I’m not some damsel in distress!”

“I never said you were!” 

“You implied it…!” Sonic trailed off, sighing. He hung his head, ears pressing against his skull, as his claws dug into his palm. “Just take it… please,” he tried, his voice was barely audible, nothing above a whisper.

“Why?” Tails pressed. 

Sonic could almost feel the concern radiating off of him. He closed his eyes. “Tails… I don’t even know if I can use Chaos Control anymore. T-those experiments did a lot of damage an took almost all the energy out of me.”

Tails’ lips parted to form an ‘O’ shape, all the energy and damage sweeping out and done to him in one rush. “Sonic, I…”

“It’s fine…”

“No, it’s not…”

“Tails, I said it’s fine…”

He bit his lip and brought a tail round to fiddle with. He thought. “Maybe Knuckles knows something about it? Maybe it will come back naturally… you never know. You could always try it…. I’ll ask Silver or Shadow to help you…”

Sonic flinched at Shadow’s name, drawing into himself more. Tails quickly berated himself mentally as he corrected himself. Sonic didn’t need another reminder.

“Sorry. I’ll see if Silver doesn’t mind helping?”

Sonic nodded slightly, although Tails wasn’t sure if he was even listening. He slid off the table.

“Thanks, Tails… I think I’ll go back to my room now,” he mumbled before leaving the workshop. Tails watched him go, noticing his sluggish movements as he limped into the hallway. 

There, he encountered everyone, who waited outside the door. They all looked at him questionably, but there was only one person Sonic wanted to look at. He made eye contact with Shadow, his heart beginning to ache. The pain of what he did was still there, but he couldn’t fault him. Maybe Shadow was right? He is usually. If not before, he definitely was now.

He turned away before he started crying again, heading towards his bedroom upstairs. He climbed them, ignoring the following gazes of his friends… and other company.

As he entered his room, he laid down on the bed, curling into a ball as he allowed himself to think.

‘Things are never going to be the same again,’ he thought bitterly. Sighing, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.