"I can't believe you would do that" scooter said sternly. The event was last night but I guess he wanted to come over today to yell at me some more.
"You can't just fuck a taken man Avery, what kind of name do you want to build for yourself?" He said.
"Well, he was mine first" I said
"I know that, but he's not anymore" scooter said.
"Are you sure about that?" I said with a smirk. And almost on que my doorbell rang. Scooter looked at me, he had a disappointed look on his face.
"You did not invite him" scooter said. I licked my lips and smiled. I made my way towards the door, opened it and Austin walked in. Scooter stared at us in disapproval. He shook his head and walked out of my house. I turned to Austin.
"Well?" I said excitedly. He smiled.
"I would love, another chance with you, if you'd allow it" he said pulling me close to him. I chuckled.
"I suppose I could spare one more for you" I said. He laughed and kissed my cheek. He picked me up and set me on the counter. He stood tall between my legs. Then thoughts started to flood my brain. I peaked my eyes open, his were of course closed. He had one hand resting on my thigh and the other on my lower back.
How do I know he won't cheat on me again?
He cheated once, what's stopping him this time?
He kissed her like this.
He got into a whole new relationship after me.
Does he actually care about me?
Am I just someone to give him what he wants? A sex object?
I stopped engaging in the kiss and pulled away, only a few centimeters. He pulled back the rest of the way and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.
"What's wrong?" He asked. I looked up at him, I stared directly into his eyes. His eyes were deceiving. They fooled me once, and now it was really hitting me, I cannot trust him.
I shook my head and gave him a fake smile.
"Nothing" I said, continuing to smile. He smiled also and leaned in. He planted soft kisses on my neck. I could feel his smile, and his warm breathe hitting my neck.
"Then, how about we make our way to your room" he said seductively. I swallowed the lump that has formed in my throat. It had formed due to the pressure to hold back tears, but also hold my tongue and not freak out about everything that had just crossed my mind. I placed my chin on his shoulder and my hand on the back of his head, holding his head on place so he didn't pull back and see my eyes beginning to water. I stared at the wall. I didn't feel the same sensation I had felt before. Now that these thoughts were going through my mind, I wasn't looking at him the same. I've gotten what I wanted, but it wasn't enough. I wanted his loyalty, I wanted his whole heart, not just some of it.
Austin slid his hands down my back, underneath of me and lifted me off the counter. He adjusted himself so he was in a position to carry me. As we started walking up the stairs, I rested my head on his shoulder. I was pretty numb, my body felt limp but I was still holding my self up.
***
I lied on my back, and stared at the ceiling. I was still stuck in this trans. I just couldn't shake the thoughts. How am I supposed to know if he's being loyal this time? I turned my head and looked over at Austin. He back was facing me, he was fast asleep. His hair was no longer long and in a bun like usual. It was short, and just curly. I slowly rolled over and stepped out of bed. The cold air hit my naked body, sending goosebumps down my every inch of my body. I quickly threw on and oversized sweatshirt and a pair of slippers and quietly made my way out of the room. I tip toed down the stairs and into the kitchen. I made myself a cup of hot tea then took a seat on my couch. It was 11 pm. I turned the tv on and put the Jimmy Fallon show on.
I looked down at the table in front of me to see Austin's phone ringing. Without thinking I leaned foreword and took a look at it. It was just his manager, but once the call went to voicemail, it revealed the notification saying he had 27 missed text messages, and 4 voicemails.
"What are you doing?" Austin said. I jumped back to the couch and looked at him. He looked at me confused and walked towards me.
"Dre was calling" I said quietly. He looked over at his phone and picked it up. He put the phone to his ear and walked out of the room. I got comfortable on the couch once again.
After a few minutes, Austin walked back in. He was throwing a sweatshirt on and took a seat on the couch next to me.
"I have to leave real quick" he said, putting shoes on.
"Where too?" I asked. He shook his head.
"It's not important" he said. I felt my heart sink. I didn't think it was visible, but I was wrong.
"Stop, don't do that" Austin said. His demeanor had changed, and now he was genuine, caring, and no longer in a rush to get out. I could feel my eyes start to get heavy, and my vision became blurred.
"Stop, what's wrong?" He said scooting closer to me. He grabbed my hand and placed it in his. I felt a tear stream down my face. He looked at me even more confused. He reached his free hand up to my face and wiped it away with his thumb.
"I don't understand" he said with a smile and a chuckled. I gave him a small smile, but I was still crying.
"I just-" I started. I had his full attention.
"I don't want you to go" I said wiping my eyes.
"Mama I just have to meet Dre up the road" he chuckled.
"Austin, I don't want you to hurt me again" I said quietly and looked down at my fingers. He pulled my arm over his shoulder and hugged me.
"I will never do that to you again, I couldn't" he said. I pulled out of the hug.
"You did it to me once, what's stopping you this time" I mumbled. He sighed. He pulled his phone out, sent a text then threw it on the chair across the room. He slipped his shoes off, gently pushed my body down to the couch and lied his head on my chest, his body resting between my legs.
"If me staying home is a step towards gaining your trust back, I'll do it." He said. I rested my hand on his head and ran my fingers through his hair.
"And I swear to god, I will do anything that I can possibly do, to make you believe me and trust me again"
