CHIM - Life in the limelight SEQUEL

Chapter 2

For the millionth time since climbing out the car while bundling both girls and their bags with me I glance up at the large window on the second story of the house I’m stood in front of. It’s the house I used to live in, this was home. I had forgotten how big it was, how perfect and expensive it looked. Through those red bricked walls and in those rooms the size of my entire flat I spent my best days. I couldn’t have been happier, I thought I’d be there forever because not having Cheryl in my life seemed impossible. I never thought it would happen but I’m walking up to the doorstep, the doorstep where my relationship first had its major ‘bump in the road’. All that time ago I was on top of the world living a fairy-tale but now? Now I’m just plodding through life trying my hardest to get through the long days.

I look at the window that was my bedroom’s. I wonder if Cheryl’s in that bedroom right now and I wonder if she’s aware that I’m here with both girls in tow instead of Sarah. I wonder if that gives her the same unsteady feeling its giving me. I put Alaina down on the gravel scattered ground and instruct Paisley to grab her hand as I just about manage to carry their bags t the door. I knock on the door with my white knuckles, the wood rattles horribly loud beneath my fist and I look up again. I’m sure the blinds move but still no sign of Cheryl. I hear no movement coming from inside the house either, I hope she answers for the girls sake, they are already thinking the worst. Well Paisley is, Alaina is too young to grasp what’s happening around her and she’s too young to know any different. “She might be asleep” Paisley suggests now struggling to pick a growing Alaina up.

“No, she knows you were coming” I smile at her I continue to stare at the perfectly painted wood. Should I knock again? Maybe she never heard the first one. No. It was loud enough, maybe too loud. I touch my tongue to the side of my mouth and I realise all my memories are starting to slip away from me, they aren’t as vivid as the once were. They are becoming a messy blur. Its impossible to unravel them, there all muddled up together and the only memories I can picture clear as day are the bad ones I would much rather forget. I start to worry about Cheryl, really worry. After the things that Paisley has told me how could I not? Paisley could be right, she could still be asleep. That’s what im trying to tell myself because I have a nagging thought that won’t leave me alone making me wonder if she has it in her to do something stupid, something so stupid that-

The door opens. It still creaks just like I remember. Alaina turns around now reverting her eyes from the ground. I take a deep breath but once I see it’s not Cheryl I feel like there is something lodged in my chest and the feeling of nothing but disappointment is second to none. I stutter, I’m hesitating and its Sarah looking back at me. “Sarah?” I breathe taking a step back glancing up at her face. I was so ready to see Cheryl’s because in my head it feels like I’m slowly starting to forget what she looks like. The glisten in her eyes has become duller, her dimples not as deep as they once were and I can barely remember her smile that used to lighten even the darkest of rooms.

She reaches out her hands and takes Alaina from Paisley’s arms. She bushes her hair out of her face with the tips of her fingers very gently like as if she was to touch her just a tiny bit harder she would crumble beneath her touch. She smiles at me sympathetically and she places a hand on my shoulder giving it a light squeeze. “I had to tell her you were bringing the girls today-“

“And what? She can’t bare to even open the door to me?” I ask almost angrily. Paisley just looks up at me then her eyes dance over to Sarah who gives Alaina back to her big sister.

“Can you and Alaina go and find something on the TV to watch and I’ll be in in a second?”

“Is mam not in?”  

“she’s upstairs if you want to see her, I think she’s asleep babe” Paisley mutters something under her breath and I kiss both Paisley and Alaina before they go wondering off into the living room. “Kim, I think she needs some time-“