His Heart's Desire

9

At the same time, we speak. "What happened?" We whisper. Our eyes meet quickly, I can see anger in his eyes. The anger he clearly tries to hide.

"Why do you have cuts all over your hand." He demands while grabbing my wrist ever so gently pulling it to his face so his eyes can access it.

I don't answer but ask him what's on my mind. "Why is your face bruised?" I say quietly so no one would hear us.

Those icy eyes snap up to my face and our staring contest doesn't break.

"None of your business." He says annoyed referring to his face. He all but throws my hand back onto my lap and lays his head down again closing his eyes.

I say nothing but continue to stare at his face like the creep I am.

I can't seem to stop myself when I reach out and gently trace the scar on his jaw. He opens his eyes again tiredly and a sad smile etched its way on my lips. The smile turns to a frown as I look at the bad bruises.

"Don't make that face I hate it." He says quickly and I watch as the blue in his eyes somehow gets darker. Just as quick as it appeared it's gone and replaced by the familiar coldness. It takes me a second realize this boy has no filter at all. I stop frowning so much. But it sure doesn't make me smile.

My finger trails up his cheek and I continue when he doesn't stop me. My thumb caresses under his bruised and very tired eye.

I watch as his eyes close and I continue to trace the scars. My finger moves over a cut and he winces before harshly pushing my hand away.

"Don't touch me." He says angrily. "And don't bother to talk to me either."

I stare at him awkwardly unmoving and not saying anything. How can he be so nice one second then switch so quickly?

His chair scoots across the floor making a loud screech echo in the silent room. Everyone looks at us.

I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment as he grabs his bag and walks out the classroom door with a scowl.

The teacher sighs and writes a note on his desk. Surely detention or something then goes back to teaching as of this is normal.

Great. I couldn't control my stupid hands for one class, could I? I need to realize he doesn't like to be touched.

~~

The rest of the day went by slow. I couldn't stop thinking about Nick. When the littlest inconvenience happens I will be up at night replaying that exact moment in my head until I'm six feet under.

He doesn't even care so why do I? I've only talked to him once anyways.

I tried sitting by Gen at lunch today but her Robotics friends creeped me out. Gen understood when I said I didn't want to sit here. I felt mean saying that but my whole day was stressful and having Marc ask what my favorite animal discharge color was, was not something I wanted to talk about while eating my ham and cheese sandwich. Nelson was sitting at his usual table. So Gen was in charge or something. I don't really know.

I heard Gen scold them as I walk off.

I walked past Tracy's table and she smiled at me then gave me a friendly wave over.

I felt nervous walking up to her with all the beautiful Barbie girls around her staring at me.

"Hey Tracy, is it okay if I sit-" I whisper only to her.

She opens her mouth with a smile but gets cut off by a curly redhead wearing a blue crop top and really short white shorts.

"There is no more room sorry." She smiles feigning a sad pout. I look at the two open seats and girls immediately put their backpacks there when they see me eyeing it.

I walk away without another word but hear Tracy call after me. I felt guilty as soon as I ignored her but I just wanted to go back to Jessie's house and sleep even if I couldn't.

So I ended up eating my lunch in the library alone.

~~

This time I wasn't so sure Brodie would drive me home considering it's been 15 minutes and he still isn't here. And I even looked where we parked this morning. His car was gone.

I sigh knowing not to waste my time.

Maybe Nick is still here?

Who am I kidding he can't drive me home. He's mad at me.

Just the thought of earlier, reminds me of how I know I wasn't allowed to talk to him.

So I began to walk home.

It was freezing. October air was burning my cheeks raw and red but a 40-minute walk won't be too bad. I hope.