The First ~10K~ (book 2)

19.) A New Beginning

I decided tonight was the night to leave. Nobody would see me and I could sneak away easily.

Nobody knew. I didn't want anyone to know. It would make it easier on me. I made sure to hide the bag I packed so nobody could see it and get suspicious. I didn't have the energy to come up with an excuse.

Ashlyn was sound asleep, her little snores coming from her cooler-crib. I peeked over the side and looked down at her, my heart swelling with love for her.

It hurt knowing she was going to grow up without a mom. If Maddi were still alive, I know she would've done whatever it took to keep her daughter safe and alive. I would do the same thing. I WILL do the right thing for her. Even if it killed me in the end, it was worth it for her. For my baby.

I sighed and looked out the barn window. The sun was setting, making the sky a bright orange that faded into pink. A slight breeze blew in through the broken window and brushed against my face. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Maddi's fingers brushing through my hair. I imagined the smell of the air being her, as she leaned in closer to kiss me.

I opened my eyes. I blinked away the image of her and sighed. It hurt not having her here. It hurt not being able to hold her, or kiss her, or make love to her, or just...talk to her.

A warm feeling ran down my cheek. I realized I was crying. I tried to get a hold of myself, but the tears kept coming. They were like a faucet, streaming down my face and landing on my shirt. If anyone would see me...

I silently sobbed for a few minutes. I let everything out. Everything was was eating at me since Maddi died, I let out. The anger. The sadness. The pain. All of it came out and ran down my cheeks.

Once I was done, I checked on Ashlyn to make sure she was okay before I left the barn. I went to the back where Maddi's grave was and I sat down on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest. I placed a hand on the still freshly placed dirt and smoothed it out. I gripped the dirt between my palm.

A cold sensation went down my chest. I looked down and saw my ring resting against my chest. I smiled and took it, looking at it and remembering how happy I was when Maddi agreed to marry me. Well, 'marry me'.

I took the necklace off and slipped off the ring before placing it on my left ring finger. We never wore our rings. I made them into necklaces because...well, I don't really know why. I guess because they felt closer to our hearts that way.

I looked back at the grave. I stood up and stuck my hands in my pockets. I sighed.

"I love you." I whispered in the wind. It took my words and they drifted somewhere far away. Somewhere where Maddi could hear them.

—

It was time.

Night came faster than I thought it would. I was hoping for more time. Time to think. Time to really consider if I was doing the right thing. I kept doubting myself. But I knew, deep down, this was the best thing for us.

Everyone went to bed. I knew someone would be on watch. Who? I had no idea. Hopefully I could sneak away without alerting them.

The only things I really needed was clothes for Ashlyn and her baby formula, ammo, and weapons. Everything else I could get later. Right now, I was focused on leaving and never looking back.

I quietly got up and grabbed Ashlyn. She cooed in her sleep as I wrapped her up in a blanket and then tied her around my chest, like a carrier almost. I picked up my sniper and a box of ammo and put it in my pocket before slinging a bag of baby items over my shoulder. I grabbed my knife and stuck that in its holster. I made sure to close the curtain so it looked like I was still sleeping and headed out the barn doors.

I looked up at the loft, trying to see if anyone was up there. It seemed clear, so I walked faster, dirt crunching under my feet. The air was turning cooler and it made my face hurt. I made sure to block the wind from Ashlyn's face as I hurriedly walked.

I was stopped when a bright light blinded me. I held my hand up, shielding my eyes as the light got closer. I placed a hand on my knife, ready for anything.

"10K?" A voice said. I knew who it was immediately.

Warren.

Warren moved the light to my feet as she walked to me. I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was scowling. Knowing her for as long as I have, this wouldn't go well.

"What're you doing?" She asked in her usual deep voice.

Ashlyn made a noise in her sleep. I looked down at her and gently rocked her.

"I...I'm leaving, Warren." I said, looking back up at her.

I still couldn't see her face. The light shone under her chin, casting a shadow over the rest of her face. I could only see her lips, which were pursed together.

"Leaving?" She repeated, unsure if she heard the word right.

"Yeah," I said softly, making sure to speak quietly so I wouldn't wake Ashlyn. "I have to, Warren. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

Warren shifted on her feet. "Are you sure that's a good idea? What with Ashlyn being only a newborn still."

"I've thought about it, a lot. I know it seems crazy, insane, really. But it's the only choice I have." I explained as quickly as I could.

"It's not," Warren said. "You can stay here, let Ashlyn grow up with people who love her and you."

I shook my head. "No, Warren. The only reason I would stay is if Maddi was still alive. And she's not. I'm only thinking about my family and that's all I have left. Like I said, you wouldn't understand."

I went to walk past her but felt her hand on my arm. I stopped and looked at her, finally seeing her face clearly.

She didn't look angry. She didn't look disappointed or sad. She looked...calm. Maybe even...understanding.

"You know where we are if you need anything." She said before she walked off herself.

I stood there, dumbfounded, watching as she walked off to the barn. She stopped and turned back around, shining the light at me again.

"Keep that baby safe." She said before walking off again and disappearing into the night darkness.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." I whispered to the air.

I looked into the night sky, feeling the chill breeze against my face. Ashlyn stirred under me and continued sleeping away, unaware of the changes that were coming to us. To her.

I took in a deep breath and walked, leaving the place that held the blood of my family.

Time for a new start.

—

END OF BOOK 2!! BOOK 3 OUT SOON!!

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