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CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

I don't know how I managed to stop my tears from falling.

I knocked in front of Theia's condo. Tulad ng dati, sila ni Psyche ang takbuhan ko maliban kay Manang. The door opened and Theia scanned me from head to foot. Then she grabbed my wrist and led me inside before locking the door.

Tahimik lang akong nakaupo sa couch niya. "Something's wrong. Ano na namang kagaguhan ang ginawa ni Monteverde sa 'yo?"

Nakinig lang ako sa sinasabi niya, my face had no expression, no reaction. No anything. Ina-absorb ko lang 'yong mga sinasabi niya saakin.

She sat on the couch and held her temples. "Ilang beses ka nang sinaktan, sige ka parin."

"I fought because we have a baby," mahina kong sambit.

Naalala ko na naman 'yong usapan nila kanina. I wanted to slap him so hard pero hindi sapat 'yon para ibsan ang sakit na pinadama niya saakin.

"Kanina, he went to the house and told me to get dressed because we were attending a party. Before we left, I was hopeful na maaayos pa namin."I toyed with my fingers absentmindedly. "But he told me straightforward that he doesn't care about me anymore. No'ng nando'n kami sa party, he introduced me to his friends."

Natawa ako nang pagak. Theia inched closer and patted my back."I heard him say something to his friend."

I couldn't bring myself to say it. It hurts so much. I hate Alvido, Aerold, and him, for hurting me like this.

"Hindi raw siya sigurado kung anak niya 'tong dinadala ko. He was my first, Theia! Paano niya nagawang isipin 'yon?" namamaos kong tanong.

Theia gave me a look of concern and hugged me. "You can cry on my shoulders."

Napangiti ako nang mapait bago umiling. "I'm done crying, Theia. I'm done looking weak. I'm so done with his bullshit. Ayoko na."

She squeezed my shoulder. "Hindi siya ang mundo mo. 'Wag mong ikulong 'yong sarili mo sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya."

I forced a smile out of my lips despite all the pain. "Pinaglaban ko naman ang anak ko, 'diba? Hindi naman ako nagkulang, 'diba?" My voice almost faltered.

Malungkot na tumango si Theia."Siya 'yong nagkulang. Hindi niya nakita 'yong sobrang pagmamahal mo sa kanya. Hindi siya nagtiwala sa 'yo. Tama na. Kami ni Psyche 'yong nahihirapan 'pag nakikita kang ganyan, e."

Napatingin ako sa labas ng bintana at nakita ko ang nagniningning na mga bituin. "Cassi, it's time to love yourself. Your love for him destroyed you. You have to let fate decide."

"Akala ko hindi darating 'yong oras na mapapagod akong mahalin siya. Pero totoo pala na lahat ng sobra, umaapaw at nasasayang."

I want to escape and start a brand new life.

"You need to be strong. Hindi ka na nag-iisa ngayon. May buhay na sa loob ng katawan mo at 'yon ang pinakamalaking rason para maging matapang ka. The baby needs you."

Muli akong tumango. Tumayo siya and gave me a glass of water. I emptied the glass in one gulp. Medyo nahimasmasan na ako.

I considered everything Theia told me. Right now, my brain is telling me to ignore my heart. After all, I followed it and what good did it do to me?

"Ano'ng balak mo ngayon?" Theia queried.

I breathed deeply before I told her my impulsive plan.

"Makakaya mo ba?" tanong niya ulit.

I gave her a determined nod. Tinawagan niya si Psyche at sinabi namin sa kaniya ang plano.

"Are you sure about this, Cassi?" Psyche's voice resonated on the other line.

"Oo," mariin at may determinasyon kong tugon.

There was a pause, then I heard her voice again. "Do it. Show him what he lost."

Matagal pa kaming nag-usap-usap sa phone. Nang mapagod ako ay sinabi ko na kay Theia na rito na ako matutulog.

'Yong perang ipinahiram niya dati ay matagal ko nang naibalik. Hindi ko naman kasi nagastos. 'Yong negosyo namin, nakabangon na rin. Thanks to Aaron's 'money.' Napabuntonghininga ako at pinilit alisin ang mukha niya sa utak ko.

Every time I close my eyes, his face will flash on my head. And it makes me hate him more.

Ngayon ay nakahiga na ako sa kama, it's already 11:00 pm. Kinatok ako ni Theia sa kuwarto ko.

She entered and waved her phone on my face, signifying that she already made the transaction I requested. I sent her a photocopy of my passport and she forwarded it to the person she was coordinating with.

Umupo siya sa kama ko at mataman akong minasdan. Tapos lumapit siya at niyakap ako nang mahigpit. "Alam kong gagawin mo 'to para makalimot, para takasan ang sakit, at para sa bata. But a selfish part of me wants to stop you."

I could feel her sadness. Ngumiti nalang ako kahit nalulungkot din ako. "Thank you for being here for me, Theia."

"That's what friends do."

Umupo na ulit siya sa kama. Her phone buzzed and she took it. She read the message and looked at me. I knew who sent the message. It was her childhood friend who works at the airport.

She gave me a gloomy look before answering. "Nakuhanan ka na niya ng slot. Your flight will be at 8 pm tomorrow."

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