Sensitive Wolf

26.

Sophia

I had wished for nothing more than for Nathan to be happy.

Well, that was a lie.

I had wanted him to be happy, but I had never thought about the possibility that he would already have a family.

I had wanted him to be happy and single.

I had wanted the same meeting between mates I had observed between Silas and Milena. 
I had wanted the same sparks between us, the same longing, the same need. 

And there had been.

I had seen how his eyes had widened at my sight, how the bond between us had strengthened, how he had desperately wanted me.

However, I had also noticed his breathtaking smile when he had exited his house, with her crushed to him. It had been clear how precious she was to him. And when their son had joined them I had realized that I was unnecessary. 

Nathan already had his picture perfect family. He did not need me. 

He was happy and I would just destroy his happiness. 

Mates were supposed to be together and the bond between us would ensure it, but not if I could stop it. I could reject him and would just be a distant memory anymore. Of course, Nathan would be confused at first, but with time he would get used to the feeling and go back to his life.
His life with his family, with her and his son. Their son had looked so much like Nathan that it had physically hurt.

My wolf had demanded to mark him, right here right now, to let everyone know who Nathan belonged to. But one look at Nathan's happy smile and his son and I knew I could not.

So I had done the only thing I could think of, I had run off.

I had no idea how long I had been running, but when I realized that every new step hurt, because my paws were bleeding I stopped.

I laid down on the forest floor and closed my eyes. I had no idea where I was and a part of me screamed at me to be vigilant and watch out for any threats, but I could not seem to care.

When your mate was already in love with someone else little did your own life matter. It seemed like a very bad deja-vu. First Levin and now Nathan.

I had not shed a single tear since I had seen with my very own eyes that Nathan had already given his heart to someone else. I just felt numb.

However, here on the forest floor all the harsh words my parents had ever spoken to me started to haunt me again.

Worthless.

Pathetic. 

Disgrace.

Disappointment.

Burden.

My wolf whimpered not liking where my thoughts went, but I could not stop it. So she did the only thing she could to shield herself from the onslaught of my dark memories.

She took control. And in a way I had wanted her to. I was tired, so very tired of my life, of the endless seeming hurt that always awaited me after I had drawn hope.

I could not say if I had done it on purpose, but her taking over was exactly what I needed.

What I had not anticipated was how I could not take control again and how my wolf was powerless to hand control over to me again.

Kellan 

"I've no idea what to do with her.", my future Alpha told me at a loss as to how to help the beautiful white wolf in front of us.