xi. Days 8, 9 & 10

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Day 8.

Kongpob is beyond confused.

Of all the things Arthit had told him yesterday, his tearful words of, "I'm so happy for you Kong, you now have everything you always wanted," retains in his mind and it bothers the younger so much.

What does the older mean by that?

Does Arthit think he's marrying Samorn because it follows his plans— to be married before he turns 30? Or, or does Arthit think Kongpob is settling with Samorn just because she's convenient and that she's the safest choice?

After all, the person he's built the plan with had already left him and has a chance of leaving him again if he decided that maybe, maybe they can try it again– because Kongpob is certain he can't mend his heart again, not for the second time.

Kongpob knows marriage is no joke, it's not as simple as buying groceries for the day; it's committing to one person, waking up with them every day for the rest of your life, building a life with them; it's life-changing and definitely a big step to take... so does Arthit think Kongpob is not ready for those with Samorn? Does Arthit think Kongpob is too young or too immature for those?

Does Arthit not think he's already moved on and now he's willing to have a new chapter of his life with Samorn in it?

What does Arthit think, really?

Kongpob is frustrated that he can't make it clear because Arthit is not answering any of his texts or calls since yesterday but he's going to talk to him later at the bar.

However, when he arrives that night and no sign of Arthit's usual bright smile welcomes him, disappointment settles at the pit of his stomach. He tells himself it's because he can't clear the confusion he has with Arthit and totally not because he won't see Arthit singing looking ethereal tonight. Totally. Not.

"Where's P'Arthit?"

Sed briefly looks at Kongpob before handing him a tray, "Says he's not fine so he's going to rest for a while. Give this to that group near the stage."

Kongpob nods and is about to walk away but Sed had the audacity to add, "I'm shocked he didn't tell you, I thought you two were close," with a hint of smugness and to Kongpob, Sed is clearly telling him that he's closer to Arthit than Kongpob is.

Kongpob scowls, the only reason Arthit has called him and not Kongpob is that Sed's the employer. But still, why didn't Arthit call Kongpob to tell the younger he's not feeling okay? Kongpob couldn't have gone to work tonight so he could take care of him, but it certainly won't mean anything, Kongpob's just going to return the favor since Arthit had taken care of him as well when he had acid reflux. So why would Arthit call Sed and not him?

Surely, it's not because Sed is more special, or, Arthit is ignoring Kongpob.

Kongpob tries assuring himself that everything's fine with Arthit but it still didn't fail to leave the feeling of tightness in his throat, like an invisible hand is grasping his neck, dragging him down to the bottomless ocean never to return back, just as he fears the most.

Kongpob wants to call Arthit again but Sed taps him, shaking his head languidly in disapproval, "We're packed today, no cellphones first."

All night, Kongpob ignores the voice in his head to punch the smirk off of Sed's face.

Before he sleeps, Kongpob tries calling Arthit again but finds himself disappointed. A minute after, he receives a call but not from the person he's expecting.

It's Samorn.

Kongpob should've felt guilty that he wanted to reject her call and the very prospect of having to talk to her stresses him but his mind won't stop focusing on Arthit. Kongpob's deeply worried about him. He keeps on thinking what Arthit's doing right at this very second.

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