The Love of My Life, The Monster

Chapter 4- October 1st

"Look," she squished my face with her hand and put her arm around Jessica, turning us in the direction of the guy she was with, "these are my best friends in the world, aren't they pretty? I have such pretty friends. I love them all." She slurred her words as she attempted to express her love for us. The guy smiled and nodded.

"Amanda, who is this guy?" I whispered into her ear

"I dunno!" she walked over to him and poked his abs, "isn't he hot, though?"

Jessica and I cracked up and took Amanda with us to meet up with other people from our school. After a few minutes of socializing, I started looking for Miller. I knew he was going to be at this party, but I didn't want to text him or seem too needy. We had just started dating, and I had to play it cool. I circled around the deck and then made my way inside. I looked around the first floor of the house and wiggled my way through the packed house of teenagers. I couldn't find him, and I had to pee, so I wandered around to search for a bathroom. I headed up the stairs, and the pounding music finally faded as I got further from the kitchen.

I found a door with a sign that read, 'This is the bathroom. Do not have sex in here. Or leave any crap for me to clean. Thanks. -Jase.' I chuckled to myself and knocked on the door. I didn't hear a reply, so I put my ear to the door and heard talking from the other side.

"Zoe, I told you, we can't talk anymore! It's done, okay?" I instantly felt nauseous. I knew that voice; it was Miller.

"I don't understand this! How could you just toss me aside like this? It's so sudden!" I heard Zoe start to cry.

Toss her aside? How is it sudden if Miller said that they stopped talking a long time ago? I pressed my ear as hard as I could.

"Zoe, I'm sorry. But I just can't do this anymore, okay? I am seeing someone."

"What?! We just hung out a few days ago!"

"I know, but it was a mistake. We are done, I mean it."

"Who is the girl? Do I know her?"

"No, she goes to my school. Zoe, just fucking drop it! Jesus."

I felt like my heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt tears fill up my eyes. My mind was racing as I tried to piece together a timeline; we had our first date a few weeks ago, and Miller told me that they had stopped talking long before our date. Why would they have seen each other a few days ago...

I was jolted out of my thoughts as I heard the doorknob turn, and I scurried to the other side of the hallway. I pulled out my phone to pretend that I was texting and I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Zoe stomp down the stairs, with her red hair bouncing behind her. I kept my back towards the bathroom and prayed that Miller wouldn't see me – I needed to gather my thoughts.

"Rachel?"

My heart began to beat fast, and I wiped the tears that were spilling down my cheeks. I could feel Miller get closer to me, and I turned around to face him.

"Hey, I was just coming to find you," he leaned in to kiss my cheek, but I pulled away.

"I heard you and Zoe." My voice sounded shaky. I desperately tried to not cry.

"God, shit," his cheeks flushed, and his blue eyes widened. "Alright, look..." he scrambled to form a sentence as he ran his fingers nervously through his messy brown hair. His eyes were begging were forgiveness, I could tell, but he couldn't put together a sentence. 

I turned to walk away, but Miller stepped in front of me.

"Wait, wait, please." He pleaded.

I turned to face him, "You said you guys broke up a long time ago. You lied to me."

"No, I..."

"Have you been cheating on me?" I crossed my arms.

He sighed and walked closer to me, "We haven't been hooking up, I swear. But, we still talked a little after I had my first date with you. And, we did hang out a few days ago. But it was a mistake, and I tried to break it off, but she wouldn't leave me alone. She's crazy!"

I felt tears forming in my eyes and turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm.

"Rachel, I am so sorry. I've never been committed to a serious girlfriend before. I am just used to kind of..."

"Okay. So basically, you are exactly the cheating asshole that everyone says you are." I wiped the tears that I felt spilling down my cheeks and leaned against the wall.

"I was, yes." He nodded and took a step closer, "But, I am not anymore. I only want to be with you, Rachel."

"So, you screwed over Zoe. How do I know you won't do that to me someday!?" I tried to walk away again, but he slammed his hand against the wall, blocking my way. I felt nerves take over my body as I watched him take a deep breath, calming himself down.

"I would never do that to you. I care about you a lot." He leaned his head against mine.

"That's not good enough," I shook my head and looked at the floor

Miller tilted my chin up with his fingers, "I am falling for you, Rachel."

We locked eyes, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He silently wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a tight hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered into my ear. He kissed my neck softly and ran his hands up and down my back. I nodded my head into his shoulder and took a deep breath, savoring every second of this moment.

Dear Diary,

He said he was falling for me. Does that mean falling in love? I was too scared to ask. I didn't want to ruin that moment for us. I hate fighting, I hate confrontation, and I hate seeming like a bad girlfriend. I've never even been a girlfriend before, and I want to do the right thing and stand by my man... isn't that the expression? But I am going to put this behind me. I'm going to give this a fresh start.

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Tagging some people that have been following my story, just so that they are updated about this new version of the chapter! - TheBloodySadist kandid127 kammymurphy1 cayala556 darlingwills467 Isabellaandaverdedancingwitdemons KelaSikwa CamSouza ChelseaLopez351 Booklover082 Lauvcody opeope123 AKASILLYMA330 UnknownName824 Saudia59 LordCyidachi Fallen_Cheonsa ColoredHandsLukeAbington shenaiyellowsphere   

There is another change that I made in Chapter 36 to go along with this, just FYI!! 

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