accompanied | billie eilish

fifteen

a/n: the song mentioned in this chapter is mountains by message to bears :)

~~~

"what's happened to her? is she okay?"

a girl of seventeen or eighteen springs to her feet as soon as the policeman enters the room.

the policeman smiles sadly. "miss taylor, please take a seat."

"we need to know if she's okay," says the girl's older brother, his face crinkled with concern as his hand comes to rest comfortingly on his sister's shoulder.

the policeman swings around, sighing. "mr taylor, i'm afraid that your sister was involved in a four vehicle collision accident. the cause of the crash is currently unknown, but what we do know is that the car that your sister and her companions were travelling in was crushed under two larger vehicles."

"and?" asks the girl hoarsely.

"i'm sorry, miss taylor." the policeman removes his hat and rubs the rim, looking genuinely sympathetic. "she didn't make it."

✦ ✦ ✦

billie

"acoustic hours," aria yells, and the audience in front of us go wild. our first show back on tour is new york and the experience of performing is as magical as ever. "over to the acoustic bed everyone."

the giant bed slowly lowers itself from the ceiling, and everyone grabs their various acoustic instruments and microphones, heading for the stage.

"we're actually gonna be performing a few additional songs which weren't on the setlist tonight," aria explains as she sits down on the front of the bed alongside me and begins to retune her guitar. "just because performing more raw songs on the bed is special, you know?"

"and also we love to piss off our manager," shay adds cheekily, winking at mike stood in the wings.

"anyway, the first acoustic song we have for you is one that's very special, to me at least," aria states, clipping her capo on. "we wrote this together when we were very young, but i think this was actually mature beyond its time, you know? anyway- this song is called mountains."

she leans back to check everyone is safely on the bed, all seven of us, before she nods at tyler. he begins the gentle opening chords, and everyone slowly builds in.

i don't think my eyes leave aria the entire time that she sings. i listen to her pretty voice singing softly of running away with someone to the mountains, and when there's an instrumental
break she too joins in with harmonising chords on her guitar. the focus on her face is so intense; this is clearly where she belongs, and seeing people like her and her bandmates who are so genuinely passionate about what they do makes me feel all warm inside.

before long, the song is finished.

"our turn now," i announce, picking up my mic. "i don't really know what to say about this song. you've all probably heard it countless times by now, but i don't think i could ever get sick of it."

this song is just me and finneas, so the vision hum softly in time to finn's gentle acoustic chords, and i begin to sing.

"it's not true
tell me i've been lied to
crying isn't like you"

this song was originally written about someone else i had feelings for at the time, but upon reflection, this song is also a perfect parallel for my feelings towards aria.

"what the hell did i do?
never been the type to
let someone
see right through"

i find it so, so hard to get on with strangers and bond with new people. i was kind of worried about this tour before it started, being around so many people i didn't know, but i've just clicked with everyone here in a way that i've only ever clicked with a few other people in my entire life. and usually i maintain a wall between myself and whoever i'm interacting with, because of how hard it is to be able to trust anyone in this world, but with the vision and with finn and especially with aria, i can let it down. i can let them see right through.

"maybe,
won't you take it back
say you were trying
to make me laugh
and nothing has to change today
you didn't mean to say,
i love you
i love you, and i don't want to

up all night,
on another red-eye
i wish we never learned to fly

maybe,
we should just try
to tell ourselves a good lie
didn't mean to make you cry"

i can feel the emotions swirling around inside me, like they always do with this song. it's so incredibly raw, especially when we perform it like this, and i'm so proud of it.

"the smile,
that you gave me
even when you felt like dying

we fall apart
as it gets dark
i'm in your arms
in central park"

maybe not central park specifically, but all of the beautiful places we've been together. and the way that my feelings for her have just blossomed with each day that's passed.

"there's nothing
you could do or say
i can't escape
the way i love you

i love you,
but i want to"

the audience murmur loudly at the change in lyrics; i blink, barely even realising i did that out loud, and bite my lip when i realise there's tears welling up in my eyes and a lump in my throat forcing me to stop.

"fuck, dude," i mutter thickly, wiping at my eyes with my sleeve. "this song just... hits different. i don't know. tell no one about this, you hear me?" i add playfully to the thousands of people watching my every move. "fuck. okay, sorry, let's keep
going."

me and finn keep going, although it's a struggle to hold in my tears for the rest of the show as it slowly begins to sink in how in love i truly am.

~~~

hot take: hostage is better than i love you