accompanied | billie eilish

forty

aria

"ashley's woken up!"

shay's joyous yell startles me from the uncomfortable sleep i'd found myself in. i leap to my feet so quickly that i tumble over, and tyler has to catch me.

"careful, tiger," he chuckles. "cmon, let's go see ash."

she's sat up in her hospital bed, looking a little weak, slightly pale, but alive. my heart swells at the sight of her; i hurry over and hug her so tight she squeaks.

"we were so worried," tyler tells her. "what happened?"

"i must've forgotten to take my meds," ashley replies. "i was so worried about, well-" she stops herself hastily.

my stomach plummets. was ash so concerned about me she ended up having an epileptic fit? am i a bad person for worrying her so much?

"have things gotten any better?" she asks tyler quietly, evidently assuming i can't hear them. he shakes his head slightly and the look on her face knots my stomach even further. i can't stand to be in the room anymore, and i duck outside, swallowing hard.

my eyes are brimming with white hot tears and i have no idea where i'm going. an awful feeling is gnawing at my stomach- i hadn't even thought about how my actions could affect other people-

thud.

"ow- yikes, ri, you okay?" says finneas's voice, and i look up at him from where i just landed on the floor. "you should watch where you're going, you know." his smile fades a little after a moment. "bad time?"

i nod.

"i actually needed to talk to you, but uh- i can try again another time," he offers. i shrug noncommittally and he takes that as a cue to sit down on the floor beside me, in the corner of a deserted hospital hallway.

"i guess all of these are going to be yes or no questions," he laughs. "ahem- so. i'm assuming you still don't wanna tell me what happened with bil?"

i nod in confirmation.

"well, she's- she's not told me what happened exactly, but i've gathered that she... confessed to you, and you- well, declined."

i look away.

"that did surprise me a little," he says, looking intently right at me. "i know at first you viewed her as just a friend, but i see the way you look at her when you think no one else is looking. you're not smooth, aria."

i blink. huh?

"i know i've not known you as long as the rest of your bandmates have, but i'd say i know you pretty well. and i can tell that more than anything you're scared of the commitment."

i swallow hard.

"talk to her," he prompts gently. "i know you're scared but i promise talking about it will make it less scary. if you're not communicating then neither of you will know what the other is feeling."

we sit in silence for a long while; i sit with my knees under my chin while finn idly traces patterns in the ugly floor tiles. eventually, i reach over and hug him tight for a few moments, then get up and walk away in search of bil.

~~~

ayo i have a pretty little liars fic out (i am still gonna complete this one lol dw) it would be pretty swag if you went and read it