accompanied | billie eilish

four

a young girl, on the brink between her teenage years and adulthood, flops down on her bed. her cheeks are tearstained, her red evening dress is torn and her heart is heavy.

the bedroom door clicks open, and the girl's identical counterpart quietly approaches her on the bed.

"hey... riri? you okay?" she asks quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"chloe jilted me again," comes the reply, thick with emotion.

"again?" says the girl at the edge of the bed exasperatedly. "you can do so much better than her, i swear-"

"this is the last time. the last fucking time," the first girl says certainly. "i love- loved her, and she's thrown that away. so many times."

"exactly," nods the second girl firmly. "aria, you don't need a romantic partner to validate your own self worth. you're beautiful on your own, okay? i love you."

"i love you too," says the first girl, and their fingers interlace. "but, i just... i'm scared, i guess. it feels like everyone i fall in love with doesn't love me back. or, they just toy with me for the sake of it, you know? and i'm i'll never find the person who's right for me, who loves me back. my... soulmate? i guess i'm scared i'll be alone forever."

"hey, look, we're still young okay?" says the second girl reassuringly. "i get that this is completely scary. feelings are complex and overwhelming and scary. but these things take time. and besides, i promise there are definitely people who love you, okay? i love you, and the rest of our family loves you, and all your friends from your weird band love you and the people you've dated in the past have loved you. who cares if chloe didn't show up as your date to the stupid graduation prom? she's just one of many people you'll love throughout a lifetime. you have a big heart, ari, and i promise you'll love again, and find people who love just as... intensely as you.
most of these fears are completely inside here, okay?" she taps a finger to her counterpart's temple. "with the way you feel things. everything will work out fine, i promise."

the first girl looks up with dark, doleful brown eyes.

"but what if it... doesn't?"

the second girl smiles softly.
"then i'll be here. i'll always be here."

✦ ✦ ✦

billie

evening, and it's time for the concert.

the vision open the show. me and finn discuss it often, but the chemistry they have onstage is incredible. they work so well together, and the music that they write entirely independently from ghost writers brings out all of their strengths.

performing with them is awesome. even when they're just on the backing sounds and instruments, and letting me and finn take the spotlight, there's still such an amazing feeling about performing with them.
this tour is the best thing i've done in a long time.

we finish up the closing number and i leave the stage on an adrenaline high, whooping and cheering as we all head into the green room.

"i broke four strings tonight, can you believe," sam whines as he throws himself onto the sofa. "i'm gonna need to head to a music shop before the next gig."

"you still played pretty fucking well with two strings," ashley laughs, sitting down more collectedly next to him.

everyone dissolves into happy post-stage chatter, and i hear tyler popping open a bottle of champagne, followed by cheers from everyone else.

i stand with finneas and shay for a while, joining in with their conversation for a while.

then i hear the door click open behind me, and look over just in time to see aria disappearing through the door and it clicking back shut behind her.

"uh, i'll be right back," i murmur to finneas, stepping towards the door.

he rolls his eyes, immediately guessing what it is, and watches me in mild amusement as i slink out the door closet behind aria.

the door directly ahead of me at the end of the corridor creaks closed; i assume that must be where aria's headed, and so i follow quickly, wanting to make sure she's okay.

i open the door to her sat on a dirty back doorstep facing a busy main road. her eyes follow the flashing lights of the cars that pass by, but it's clear that her focus isn't actually on them.

"hey aria, you okay?" i ask uncertainly, sitting down beside her. she starts, as though awaken from a trance.

"s- sorry. what?"

"are you okay?" i repeat more gently, one of my arms coming to rest on her shoulder. her hand reaches up to rest on top of it and we remain like that for a few moments, my whole body tingling as i fight back the urge to pull her in closer.

"yeah," she replies slowly, after a few moments. "just, sometimes after a gig i need a little while away from a lot of people and a lot of noise and sort my head out. music is intense," she adds, and i nod in agreement. "sometimes after concerts i just cry for hours, because... this whole thing is so insane, you know? and it's so big."

"i get it," i offer. "if you ever want to talk about it, or just need a shoulder to lean on, i'm here."

she leans slowly over until her head is resting on my shoulder, giggling softly for a few moments. that sound dissipates into silence and we sit, listening to the cars and the noise of the city, the air around us quiet.

if this is what aria needs sometimes,

i'd sit with her like this for the rest of my life.