The Night He Fell (BoyXBoy)

Saturday/Sunday

Seconds felt like minutes, as well as minutes felt like hours. I felt strongly overwhelmed, I felt confused and hurt all in one. Carter kissed me. He did so without much of a word, and disappeared as a ghost. As I watched his retreating form exit the door, I couldn't catch him.

As those devastating hours passed, not once did I see Carter walk back in through the entrance. I had no leads on where he was, where he ran to. It dawned on me as I sat in painful memories, that I don't even know Carter like I thought I did. I don't know what hurts him, or what aids him. I don't know where he would go to comfort himself. Or who he would go to.

All I could do was sit here and wait.

I only had time on my side, nothing else matters. I have nothing else.

So I will wait. I will wait for him to come to me.

———————
Sunday
———————

It wasn't a surprise once I woke up to an unoccupied bed across the room. There wasn't even a sign of him ever arriving at all.

I could only stare at my bare hands. Despite being clean, I could still see the traces of the blood dripping down my fingers and palms. I could still see the pain I had caused to myself in past time, along with the pain Andrew once gave me. My vision doubled and tripled, and it took me some time to realize I was crying. The blood I saw through my hallucination was replaced with water, as they dropped and collapsed in my hands. I release a small sob and scrub my eyes aggressively with my palms, digging them in until my eyes started to ache.

I can't stop the tears, nothing I can do will stop them.

Are you okay?

"N-no... No i'm not." I sob out, scrubbing my eyes with my blanket. I felt like a baby. It's been a while since I cried so much like now. Everything seems so surreal. I inhale through my nose, the snot making it sound horrid, as I look up to an empty room. I am hearing nothing. I felt like I heard his voice, as if he was here despite it not being true. He wouldn't want me to cry.

Come on, Liam. Get up.

My breath wavers as I shift my legs to hang off the bed.

Get up.

I ignore the pain in my arms and legs as I force my body up off the mattress. I ignore the soft meows from Mocha below.

I staggered and limped as I grabbed ahold of my nearby table, hoping it will carry my weight. Tears were still falling, the sound of them bursting in miniature puddles filled my ears as if they were loud drums.

You're having a panic attack, breath Liam. It's okay. I'm here.

That voice— I look back over to Carter's bed. Even though it was blurry, I could still make out a large figure as they seated themselves. Who?

Breath.

I take in another breath and push myself straight up again. The shape didn't move in the slightest at my movements, so with slow steps, I advance towards it. Nothing.

But the moment I reached the destination, it was gone. Just like when Carter vanished, it was just gone.

I listen, and take in slow amounts of oxygen into my lungs, releasing the carbon back into the room. It took a few minutes until I could finally see the room clearly, my tears finally decreasing as only one or two continued down my cheeks.