The Meaning Of Eternity (TMOE #1)

Chapter 13: A hundred spittles, give or take

Lucius shot up from the bed with a loud gasp. He was covered in sweat and his entire body trembled as he pressed his head against his knees. It was still night-time outside, judging by the cool, blue light coming from the window of his small bedroom, and he cursed under his breath. It had happened again, but he wouldn't cry this time. He absolutely wouldn't cry. His gasping and uneven breathing gave him away though, and Phil soon sat up from his bed.

"Seriously, this has gotta stop, Lucius. How many nightmares does it take before you get used to them?"

They weren't just nightmares. The images of his parents' blood spilling everywhere as they fell to the floor, or Claudia and Mabel's swollen throats twisting to the side as the sound of a rope snapping echoed through his mind were more than nightmares. Some of them were warped, but he'd seen all those things before while awake. Painfully and regrettably awake.

"Fuck off, Phil," he mumbled as he pretended to rub his eyes due to being tired. Attempting to not show any weakness around these people while waking up crying almost every night had proven difficult to say the least."

"Pretty sure you owe me what, a hundred spittles by now? That's ten bugs, Lucius. Ten!"

"This has not happened a hundred nights." Lucius wanted to throw a pillow at him, but given the target was Phil there was a chance he'd get a chair thrown at him in return. "And I never agreed to that."

"Well it's on you for being the worst at sleeping. And I'm pretty sure it's been a hundred nights. Or more. It's been what, a year? Every third night or whatever is not enough."

"You know, you're not the quietest either, what with your big nose snoring until my ears start ringing."

"There's a huge difference between snoring and screaming."

Lucius stuck his tongue out at his roommate before using his blanket to wipe sweat from his forehead. He ran a hand through his short hair, trying to smooth out any wet places so he wouldn't end up with unnecessary cow licks.

He curled up after that, wrapping his arms around his knees and trying to calm his pulse. It was a long time ago now. Not that he hadn't suffered memories of the tragedy back in Wyrmdon when he lived at the Hydrina, but the horrid memories kept piling up and were taking their toll on him.

Lucius flinched, much to his dismay, as Phil got out of bed and rolled up his blanket before handing it to him.

"Here."

"Why would I want your musty blanket?" Lucius shied away from it. "I got my own."

"Something to... I dunno, hug." Phil averted his gaze as if the smallest act of sympathy made him deeply uncomfortable. "Maybe it'd help. Just for tonight."

Lucius narrowed his eyes, but smiled as Phil decided to look at him again and received the blanket. It was a sweet smile. It was by no means genuine, but people thought it was. That's why they were fine with him. Why they even liked him. The problem was that it wasn't out of any kind of respect or camaraderie. It was sympathy. Maybe even pity. The kind people showed stray animals on the streets.

And it bothered him.

He was supposed to rise in ranks. Ever since that pact about a year ago he'd worked to gain the trust of the rest of Ravi's Offshore Stalkers, thinking the scourge would do its end of the deal soon enough, but nothing happened. He never got to prove what he could do. The older members got to do the dirty work and Lucius just stood by as people were threatened, hurt or even killed. Either by the hands of the other members or by Ravi and Apocalypse, but never by Lucius.

He was just an underling. Someone to deal with things back at their headquarters and scouting their territories, seeing how no one suspected a scrawny kid to be any kind of threat, and certainly not in a gang.