The Wanderer in the Valley of Vision [Christian Poetry] (Full Manuscript)

A Life broken to Heal

(set to "Nightride")

"But Ruth said: "Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried." (Ruth1:16-17a)

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life, will lose it...

                            ...but whoever loses his life for My sake, will find it." (Matthew 16:24-25)

~ ~ ~

I asked to be more like You
To follow in Your sacrifice
But am I willing to leave
And give up my life?

Breath to You I could yield
And be cut down by blade's steel
But would I walk in daily order
To die daily and of torture?

Immediate consequence I could bear
But not a death that lives to the last
To bear the night till light should come
To uncover every weakness
That victory may be won

Many desires I long for
What if I am called to leave them all
For His cross? His war?
How could I not for what He did
Bearing my disgrace?
Bearing the eternal destruction of sin
Upon Adam's race?

Selah

Oh His music that burst forth
When He played my keys!
The higher notes, the lower notes
The happiness and the grief!

What beautiful colors were blended
From the lighter shades to the darker ones!
What comfort and healing ran o'er me
When He shed His blood!

If it be from my broken body
Or from my broken spirit
Oh His music will spring forth
And let all the nations hear it!

Though His child dies in silence
In loneliness and disgrace
Upon angel's wings shall they enter
Into His glory and grace

What little this child has
He has made of much
Fo our sakes He became poor
That we might have His love

How could I not give up
One by one what I desire?
If it would save one precious soul
Calling on His anointing to send
His saving fire?

I am surrounded and very blessed
And have not n'er begun
To consider in bliss content
That I have lived out such love

O God, grant me grace to live
To give up all I've laid within
To give up both life and treasure
If it be Thy will
And greatest pleasure

I cannot and will never come near
To becoming broken like You, my Dear
Yet may You use this mirror to reflect
Not my life
But You who alone is perfect

A broken shard I am
One in a million pieces to a frame
When You bring Your Bride, united
Your painting shall be done
And we shall bless Your Name

Shalom; Hallelujah

It is Your grace that gives me strength
To sing this song of love and faith
O when that time should come
Help and hold me
And guide Your son

I bow my head to You Lord
Knowing Your promise to lift me up
You only empty me
That You might refresh my cup

If I was ever full
And never poured out
Would I not grow stale
Trusting in self and proud?

Oh give me strength to sing
Your Spirit to make me alive
A peace beyond understanding
And joy mysterious
That causes me to thrive

If it were not for Your grace supplied to me
I would be nothing and empty before Thee
Take Your Spirit and I return to the dust
I will lean on Thee and in You I will trust

Only by You Father
Can I grow up like Thee
To be a true son
And a flourishing tree

May I not forget Your rain
Your presence and Your love
For I am incomplete
And I will never be enough

As my eyes
Are toward You Father
May my shades be driven back
And all around grow brighter

As I walk
And daily find in You my need
Make me aware of others
Whose lives must be set free

As I desire to be passionate for You
Lead me and guide me in Your truth
That as I love You I will love others
Passing on Your love to my sisters and brothers

Oh the relationships that were severed
And the door of each heart that was sealed
I look to You to make a way
You are the God who heals

Oh the stripes we in confusion, blindly
The words and acts we made unkindly
Oh wash my heart and my soul to live
You are the God-Who-Forgives

These are one of many paths
That You O Lord know
Teach me which ones I should take
And which way I should go

You also know this Flesh
Prone to complacency and laziness
May I bear in godly fear: my sin
And treasure in unhindered joy
Your presence within

All I have cannot compare
To You my God who is always there
Though at times You are close
And at others, seem so far away
You God are steadfast
Working unseen throughout the day

What You hide within Your hand
It is our glory and joy to search and find
It is already set: Your mighty and beautiful plan
From sorrow and night
Our joy and strength shall shine

Oh why You would choose weak vessels
To pour in Your strength?
God, cause our hearts to remember
Awake our soul to live!

Dead though all around may be
Winter having stripped of every leaf
Let it be found in the ashes
The God who is Everlasting!

Death cannot separate us
From our God who first loved us
Even in spiritual death
Our God can raise us from the dead

Though we descend deep into hell
Our God can be found, His presence there
Though we walk in darkness
Falling in the depths of the sea
Even there He can rescue
His hand will save and lead

So in all these things
By grace I cannot despair
Knowing my God is for me
And He is ever there

Oh how often I have felt
That He was very far
Yet He has written His Covenant
Upon my very heart
He will not break it
And it cannot be broken

Let me be broken if He wills
My God, steadfast, is there still
For me; and in such mystery, He raises me up!
I am only emptied
That He might refill again my cup

A shard among many
And the mysteries so plenty
He paints our lives with the light
And lower keys
That will in the end and already is
A beautiful tapestry

Though I cannot see
He has given me grace
To understand at least
That blessed are all His ways
He who walks and trusts in them
Shall not be put to shame

Faithful and true
Are all His ways
And never has He forsaken
Those who seek His face

By His grace and love
I am overwhelmed to see the privilege
Of the life laid before me
It's calling to reflect His Son

Though the thought to give up all
Pains me beyond what my soul knows
I know He will not let me fall
God will be my portion and my hope

Imperfect I am, yet He uses me
Naked I was, yet He clothed me
Vast is the mystery of His love and ways
Why He would choose to fill this vessel
In incomprehensible patience
With His strength?

God knows how much I glory
In the robes that He has clothed me
Yet He does not strip His righteousness
Only my Flesh
That I might be saved
And from sin's destruction, cleansed

Imperfect, He still uses me
And sings His song through me
I am His trumpet and His Spirit, the breath
That blows through it

He withholds and I become silent
No tune or joy can I bring forth from myself
He is the Fountain that supplies me
If He should cut it off, I would become dry

I am merely a channel
And His rivers run through me
God, help me to remember
Your past and present mercies!

O the glory and peace we enjoy
From Your Son's broken life
Father, by Your grace and mercy, I kneel
My life to be broken
That those in need be healed
My life tried to reflect
A God who alone can save
And is perfect