digital heart | minsung | ✔

35

I kind of expected things to get easier as the days passed, but that was far from the truth. In fact, every minute I spent on campus only reminded me of how near Minho was -and how far away and unreachable at the same time.

It's crazy; knowing that he's on the same campus as I am leaves me with so many mixed feelings. There is a part of me that wants to run up to him, beg him for forgiveness even though I have no idea what I did wrong. There's a part of me that just demands answers, in a frienfly way or not. There is a part of me that wants to ignore him, pretend that he isn't there. And there's a part of me that wishes that I would have never met him, which would make him just another random stranger I don't give a shit about.

Man, that sounds nice.

Attending class proved itself to be a huge struggle. I promise I didn't skip a single class since that day, but being there has the same effect as not going at all. Sadness, confusion, and bittersweet memories of Minho were nagging at my concentration and motivation continuously, leaving no space for any mood or thoughs other than that. I knew I desperately needed a break, but I had no idea how to take it.

The more I tried to avoid Minho, the more I seemed to run into him in the hallways. All the odds seemed to be against me, especially on that day I literally bumped into him when I rounded a corner. Even then, he refused to look at me. All I got was a puzzled look from a girl, who seemed to remember me from the very first encounter I had with the real Minho.

The worst part of all, I miss him.

I miss Minho like crazy, and the silent longing I feel whenever I see him around hurts.

Wait, let me rephrase that. It's Lino who I miss; the amused glint in his gentle eyes, his special little smile, his melodious chuckle, and just the joy being around him brought to me. That was all Lino. Minho gave me nothing of that.

But they are the same person, which complicated everything to a point where it was tiring me out. I found myself still caring about the boy in a way, and hating myself instead.

It's twisted, and if you would ask me why, I probably won't be able to answer.

"I swear, Ji. I would gladly beat him to pulp for you."

The deep voice of my best friend drags me back to reality, and I look at him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"Minho," is the curt reply. "I really want to make him pay for what he did to you." To emphasize his words, Felix balls his hands into fists, and I swear there's literal fire burning behind his eyes.

Right now, I have a free period, and I'm sitting outside on a patch of grass with Felix, Eric and Hyunjoon. Everything is so peaceful, from the soft rays of sunlight that shine down on us to the chatter of birds that sound over the campus.

Well, everything except for the anger that clearly radiates off of my best friend. It's almost scary, and I quickly place my hand on his shoulder.

"Lix, it's fine. Please don't hurt him," I mutter, trying to give him a convincing smile. "I'll get over him. It makes sense when you think about it. Of course, someone like him doesn't want me."

Felix narrows his eyes, and his fists tense even more. "He broke you, Ji. Look at you, you used to be so confident and now you're here, taking the blame for everything that asshole did to you."

"That makes no sense, Jisung," Hyunjoon adds. "There's nothing wrong with you, and I might not know you that long but I can already tell letting you go is a big loss for him."

Eric and Felix nod in agreement, but I just shrug and look down. "He doesn't really seem to mind."

"That's it," Felix suddenly announces while jumping up, and I look up at him with wide eyes. Please don't tell me he's actually going to-