Do Not Go Gentle

An Attack on the Spirit

Alma's shoulders slouched in an unladylike manner and she seemed to shrink in her spot as our banter had turned viably serious.

Fin tilted his head. "It does not sound like they cared about you as much as you seem to think if they were willing to place you into such danger at that young of an age."

I grit my teeth and heard the cracking sound ring in my ears at their strain. "They didn't have much of a choice, Fin. Don't act like you know anything about them, or me."

A small smile decorated his features. "Not for a lack of trying on our part, I promise you."

A small cry came out from my lips. "They cared about me. They did. And I let them down."

Fin's lips thinned. "I think they cared about you, but I also think you deserved far better than what you were given, Persephone."

Alma reached across the table and grabbed one of my hands that were gripping the table in an inhuman effort. "You should not have been near death so many times, Persie. It is okay to admit that you are upset to have had the childhood you did."

"But my mom... my dad- they loved me. I know they did. They do."

Fin nodded in understanding. "Just because a person loves another does not mean that they always are able to make the best choices on their behalf. Lady Almarian knows this better than anyone."

I turned my blurred vision to Alma, who wore a look of deep sorrow. "He is not wrong, mellon. But that also does not mean you have to love your parents, your friends, or your mentors any less."

"They tried to protect me-"

"They tried and were unable to succeed. This is why you try so hard to succeed in your relationships with others, is it not? You do not want them to experience the same things you have."

Shit. Finalion had done a far better job psychoanalyzing me than anyone I have ever met in my life. And Apollo had even set me up with one of his children who was a shrink, and they hadn't gotten very far with me.

Apparently it takes an outsider to call me out on things, I guess.

"But Glorfindel doesn't trust me. He doesn't care about me. He was kissing Mirwen and I... I thought..."

"Oh, mellon." Alma left her seat across from me in a flash and enveloped me in her arms.

I let the tears start to fall, and felt cries rack through my chest. I did my best to stay quiet, not wanting to seem like I was having another meltdown. Again.

It only got worse the longer I held it in, and then as Alma's hug strengthened, my sobs started to come out.

"Why does this always happen to me?" I cried, placing my hands on my face in a weak effort to hide my tears. "It's always me who gets burned in the end."

I thought Fin would have been completely freaked out over the fact a female was crying and losing her marbles in front of him, but he remained perfectly calm and poised. He looked at me with a small smile and clasped his hands together patiently.

"You said that Lord Glorfindel was kissing Lady Mirwen? I have a hard time seeing that, as last I have heard from a few acquaintances was that Lord Glorfindel wanted nothing to do with the hag."

My cries came to an odd pause, and I sniffled before asking, "Did you really just call her a hag?"

Fin snorted and rolled his eyes. "Is that not what she is?"

Alma giggled, and her hug jolted along with the rest of her body when doing so, making me remain in this awkward moving embrace that felt oddly like she was jacking me off. I was not quite sure how I was supposed to feel about that.