Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Family

I stayed at my place for a while. Beckett told me I would have to get rid of the lemon juice soon as it would attract gnats. I rolled my eyes as he left and went to pick up Kolbi. Jack wanted to stay with me which I didn't mind. Jack wanted to try and I mean really try. Alex came over with Lisa and we sat in my apartment. They told me about stories from when the first moved in together. Alex told me about how they were both really bad at cooking at that time and it was somewhere between the best and worst thing in his life.

I smiled watching the two. Lisa looked at Alex like he was the world and Alex looked at Lisa like she was the only thing keeping him alive. In some ways I knew this to be true, in others I thought of the band. Lisa saw me start to fiddle with my fingers and held my hand patting them with her right. Alex looked down at my hands as I looked at him.

"You okay?" Alex asked and I nodded.

"Come on kiddo speak to me," Alex said and crossed his legs and looked at me.

I shrugged and bit my bottom lip looking at the painting behind Alex. A lightbulb went off in my head as I pulled out my phone. I sent Jack and quick text as I looked at Alex with a soft smile. I leaned in as Alex pushed me away giving me a look. I kissed his cheek and gave Lisa a tight hug. I grabbed my keys off the table by the door.

"Where are you going?" Alex shouted to me as I left my house and pointed up at the sky.

"To fix something!" I shouted back and got in my car driving to meet Jack.

I drove past places in my mind where I had been a thousand times. I drove by the wreck sight where I lost Tobias. I drove by the place where I ran away from my fears. I finally pulled up to a stop near an old fishing pier. I got out of my car and clicked my keys the lanyard I was wearing. I threw my hands in my pocket and noticed the lanky boy in all black leaning against the edge.

I walked slowly toward Jack seeing my life seem to pause in front of me. I smelt the warm wind in my nose and it took me back to being a child. It felt like I was on a rollercoaster ready to throw up as I took each step closer. I finally walked closer to Jack who stood there with his hands in his pockets leaning on the railing.

"Hi," I whispered out as Jack looked at me.

"Hi," He whispered back and all the feelings rose to the surface and I couldn't help but smile.

"Look I-" Jack started his sentence as I looked at him and grabbed his jacket.

I grabbed Jack's jacket and pulled him close to me and stared up at him as he stared down at me moving his hands. His hands traveled from his pockets to my back jean pockets. I noticed the smirk pulling at his mouth. I put my head on his chest and listened to his rapid heartbeat.

"How is it we always end up like this?" He whispered against my head as I shrugged into his body.

"You okay?" Jack asked and I thought for a moment.

"No, I am tired of feeling this way. I feel like I left us on the wrong foot tonight and I want to make it right," I said and Jack motioned toward the bench.

"Then let's talk because I have two ears to listen and you have a beautiful voice I like to listen to," Jack said and I giggled.

With Jack, everything was easier. It was like when I was with Beckett or Ryleigh. I could spill my heart. It was like being with Alex all the time but I was afraid to be myself around Jack sometimes because I wanted him to like me. As we sat on the pier for hours I started to feel little drops of rain come down upon us.

"It's going to storm," I spoke out as you could smell the storm brewing in the air.

"I don't care if it storms because right now I am with you," Jack said and nuzzled his nose against the side of my face.

I smiled and put my hand up to his cheek giving it a slight pat. I turned to look at him giving him a soft gentle kiss. When Jack and I were both lost in the kiss it started to rain. In one quick motion, we broke apart breathing heavily and rushed toward our cars. I pointed toward my place as Jack nodded and followed me.

Turning into my parking space Jack pulled in behind me. We got out of the car and I spread my arms out wide ready to dance in the rain. I was always afraid of storms as a child but I learned rather quickly the need for storms and how with every storm something good comes. Every storm will eventually come to an end and a new one will begin. Jack wrapped his cold wet arms around me as I stood in the warm shower. I stood on my tiptoes to peck his lips as I was thrown over his shoulder.

"Jack!" I shrieked as he carried me inside and knocked on the door as Lisa rushed to open it.

"Oh," She said and backed away laughing lightly.

"Alex you might want to order another pizza," Jack said and took me straight back toward the master bedroom.

Jack stripped off his clothes as I stripped off mine and climbed into the shower. We stood there back to back for a while. Jack finally turned around and washed back. He wrote on my back things like 'i love you' 'i want to kiss you' 'turn around'. I giggled turning around to kiss him. We heard Alex shouting at us about not having sex in the shower while he was around. Jack let out a really high pitched moan and smacked the shower wall. I smacked Jack's wet chest as he laughed.

I finally felt like myself. I quickly got out taking out sopping wet clothes and throwing them into the dryer. I started them on air dry for about two hours. I walked by snagging a piece of pizza off Jack's plate. He pulled me onto his lap where I felt his friend starting to bother him. I looked at him raising an eye as he lightly shook his head. He got up a few minutes later excusing himself.

"Well I take it you two made up," Lisa chuckled as I looked at Alex.

"Is it weird for you having your two practically children dating your band members?" I asked Alex ignoring Lisa's banter with me.

"I mean sometimes. I rather everyone would be happy though. If Ryleigh and Zack are happy together then who I am to say that's wrong. You love who you love and I mean everyone is legal so it's not like it's a big deal. If you and Jack are happy which based on how you both acting like fucking rabbits. Who am I to say no more. I just want to be named godparent to your guys' child," Alex said calling dibs.

"Who said we would name you godparent Lexy?" Jack said coming over and wrapping an arm around my waist and placing a hand on my stomach rubbing the empty spot where a baby should have grown.

"Because, I have always been rooting for you two," Alex said and gave me a wink.

I rolled my eyes giggling and going over to chat with Lisa while Jack and Alex talked. Lisa and I talking about children and when we would like to have children. I told her I really wanted to start trying again but there was this part of me that didn't want to so soon. Lisa said she and Alex were content with me and Ryleigh even though we weren't 'their' child. We were a family just as much as Brendon, Sarah, and I were a family.