The Secret of Tanencha Sy Tyrin by @TheLilLion
The writing was well structured and clear. It was also simple to understand.
However, that said, more description would really benefit this as I found there were some parts I couldn't picture. Also, describing the Tanencha as just "energy" isn't cutting it.
Too many commas in places. I tried to comment on some so you know where to start.
You don't need "off of".
Be careful with colloquialism - especially when writing for the Tanencha.
I'll tag you in a critique where I explain how to format dialogue properly to others.
Thoughts in italics.
Overall, a really wonderful start. I think Stella was amazing!
Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!
If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)
YOU ARE READING
Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]
RandomCLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.
![Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/204872642-64-k620924.jpg)