The Device by @Jbarryt
Really great start - I could picture it in my head from the very first paragraph. Especially liked the comparison with the grain of rice (hope you know what I mean.)
Grammar was en pointe - and if I did find mistakes they were tiny.
Only thing I can say is maybe break up the paragraphs a bit more for easier reading. But that's only a suggestion.
The story reminded me of a mix between the Matrix, Inception, and the Fifth Wave.
Numbers spelled out look more formal.
Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!
If you would like a critique, please read the guidelines, fill out the form, and complete the payment, all which can be found at the beginning of this book. :)
YOU ARE READING
Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]
RandomCLOSED FOR CATCH UP Want some honest, un-sugarcoated, constructive feedback? Come on in! I would love to help you out! This is my second critique book and a direct continuation. Please refer to this one instead of the old one.
![Critiques 2 [CLOSED FOR CATCH UP]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/204872642-64-k620924.jpg)