I Found You, Something Told Me To Stay - (Jason Berry/Zacky Vengeance)

Chapter Sixty-Four.

I decided not to answer then, considering his words were beginning to hit a raw nerve and I didn’t want to get upset in front of him. I’d done enough crying lately, and I was trying my hardest not to do any more. No matter how messed up things seemed.

My dad stared at me as I rested my head back down and focused my attention on the television screen again. I knew he was waiting for me to say something, but he could wait for however long he wanted, because there was no way I was going to allow myself to start crying in front of yet another person.

“Are you even listening to me?!” He exclaimed, seemingly becoming ever more annoyed in a matter of seconds.

“Yep.” I bluntly replied.

Then came more staring. He was blinking, his mouth slightly open and his expression looking as if he was about to scowl. This time, I stared back at him, waiting to see what he was going to say or do.

“I actually can’t believe you.” He breathed out, his tone now in disbelief. “You are so selfish! You don’t even care!”

I shrugged. “I do care. I just don’t agree with what you’re saying and I’m not willing to argue with you about it. I’m completely grateful for what I have here and for what all of you have done for me and there is no way in hell that I’m going to let anyone say otherwise!”

He scowled again. “You wouldn’t have turned out this way if I’d brought you up. Living seventeen years with that mother of yours is what’s done this to you!”

I was rapidly growing furious at the fact that he’d brought my mum into it, considering she was one thing he and I never talked about. I’d made it clear to him that I wanted nothing more to do with her and I didn’t want to talk about her unless it was extremely necessary. I knew now that he was deliberately mentioning her to wind me up.

“You remind me so much of her.” He continued, looking at me somewhat in disgust. “The way you speak, the way you act...how irresponsible you are. It’s like you’re her double!”

“I’m nothing like her!” I angrily spat, shooting up from the sofa and glaring down at him. “I hate her! She made my life fucking hell and I’d never do that to anybody!”

“You act just like her.”

I had to turn away then, strongly feeling the urge to punch something. I breathed deeply as I balled my fists, quickly stepping away from my dad and circling the room as I tried to calm myself. He watched me, seemingly pleased that he’d got some sort of reaction out of me, and it only made me angrier.

“I’m being serious. You need to sort it out.” He spoke again. “Because when I’m around you, I feel like I’m a teenager again. I feel like I’m around your mother twenty-four-seven. Around constant negativity and conflict. Those anger issues. Constantly walking on eggshells around you because I don’t know when you’re going to flip out and do something stu—‘’

“Shut up.” I interrupted him, turning to face him and narrowing my eyes.

He shrugged. “It’s the truth. You are exactly—‘’

“Shut up!” I repeated, my voice shaking.

“And if you carry on like this...being like her and acting the way you...you’ll just end up the same. Messed up in the head. A single mother. Drinking your days away.”

I didn’t get a chance to think of a reply, as it was then that he pushed me over the edge. Like when I’d argued with him a few weeks back, I felt like I was watching myself from across the room and standing there without any control. I turned, my breathing even deeper and my nails now digging into my palms from where I was clenching my fists so hard. With my body shaking with anger, I raised my fist and repeatedly punched the wall, not caring how hard I was doing it or what damage I was causing to my hand. I needed to get my fury out somehow.

I only realised I was crying when I saw a tear drop down to the floor, but I was past the point of caring. There was a slight noise, and it sounded like my dad was shouting, but I couldn’t make out any of his words. It was as if someone had covered my ears. Everything was muffled, and all I could do was keep pummelling my fist into the wall.

Suddenly, I was ripped away and pushed harshly back down onto the sofa. My tears blurred my eyes for a split second, but as they dropped and rolled down my cheeks, my dad became visible in front of me, towering over me and glaring down at my face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He harshly spat, clenching his jaw. “Are you trying to ruin everything?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing left my lips except a quiet whimper. My body was still shaking uncontrollably and my hand was covered in blood. All I could do was rock back and forth while my dad watched me.

“You have a good life here, Jasmine. And you need to think very carefully about what you’re doing with it because you are pushing me over the fucking edge and I am and at my wits’ end.” He said, his voice low and level. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you. You probably need professional help or something. But it has to be sorted.”

I stared forward, blinking. “I...I need to get out of this house.”

“You’re—‘’

“I need to go!” I cut in, abruptly standing up. He grabbed onto my arm, but I ripped away. “Let me go! I have to get out of here!”

He shook his head, sighing exasperatedly. “I can’t take any more of this. I’m going to stay with my mom and dad for a few a days.”

I didn’t care—not right now, anyway. Not when I was like this. My breathing was all over the place as I pulled my shoes on and ran to the door, ripping it open and throwing myself out. I practically sprinted down the road, and it felt like this was just a repeat of the argument a few weeks ago.

I couldn’t go to Zacky’s right now. I was too angry and I knew I’d take it out on him and bring up the Gena situation and probably say something I really would regret. For once, I was glad I was alone. It was hard to breathe with all the crying and running as my feet carried me to wherever I was headed. For some reason, I didn’t go to the beach like I usually would. When I stopped, I found myself in the middle of the park.

It was silent—almost eerie. There didn’t seem to be any birds in the trees or people walking their dogs, and I wasn’t sure if it was actually like that, or if my anger was suffocating my mind too much for me to notice.

I dropped down onto the grass, burying my face into my knees as I unleashed my tears. They seemed never ending, to the point where my throat was growing sore with each sob that left my lips.

The worst thing about it all was that I wasn’t actually angryat my dad. I sure seemed like I was...I knew that much. But as much as I’d tried to deny it all back there, I knew there was truth behind his words. I’d done the one thing I’d promised myself I’d never do. I’d turned into my mother.

And I didn’t even know how to change that. Everything was increasingly getting worse, and it didn’t seem like things would take a positive turn any time soon.