Love Or Lust || l.mh x h.js (stray Kids 18+)Ft. Nct

forty.

Warning self harm mentioned;

Jisung's pov

How did thus things ended up like this? It was just so messy.

I was crying the whole night, ignoring my phone who keep on ringing.

The warm tears fall on my cheeks. I felt so drained, not wanting to talk or go out.

Glad that my parents are away for their business. I looked up only to see my white ceiling, blurry eyes as the tears brushes my cheeks.

I'm so tired, tired of everything.

I wanted to end up everything. My eyes landed on my pale wrist, i gulped as i imagined the blood leaking out once i cut it.

I shake my head trying to get the idea out of my head as I cried out loud. I don't want to leave them, even though they hate me.

I just feel empty, all I can feel is numbness through the pain.

"Jisung, it's better if you just disappear in our sight forever"

"are you going to ask me who's the father of this child?...

You're right, it's Minho"

"what? aren't you Taeyong's sex slave?"

"gosh I thought he's not going back"

"he probably enjoyed spending his time with Taeyong in the bed"

"isn't that sex slave's work? hahaha"

the thoughts flooded on my head, words that stabbed my heart and broke it into million of pieces, it was too heavy to handle it on my own.

I want to give up and disappear along with the pain.

Everything has a reason, and I hope Seungmin will know about this.

I got up grabbing my pen and the notebook that was placed on my table...

It almost took me a hour writing, choosing every words right and remembering what happened in clearly detailed

I gulped as I licked my dry lips feeling nervous. I cried heading to the bathroom.

This is what i want right? Dying because it was too painful to handle, everyone just want me to disappear. It will be their happiness to my friends, Izarra or i guess everyone.

While grabbing the blade out in the cabinet, i once thought to the person who will be left if I die, they can get over it, time will heal it, time will fly and they will forget about me, probably forever.

The cold blade, touched my pale skin as it cut through in my skin.

I gasped on the pain that the cut was giving me. I cried this is my last moment, a painful moment.

The blurry vision started to spread in my eyes, i just want to feel peace again.

My breathing started to slow on it's own. It is slowly killing me. I once looked at my wrist, blood were covering and wrapping the pale skin of mine.

My vision immediately blacked out as I felt peace.

I once exhaled my last breath as everything felt nothing now.