Promise to Sirius (An Utapri / Uta no Prince-sama Fanfiction)

Chapter 69: Of Cards, Flowers and Illusions

Reiji Kotobuki

Lies of omission. The letter "o"s in the word both stand for "ominous", precisely as dark as it sounds. When you tell a lie of omission, you are essentially not lying with your words, but by leaving out certain words, with a certain reliance on the other party making false assumptions or interpretations; a subtle method of deception. For example, if someone asks, "Are you happy?" and you answer, "I am," you could sincerely argue that you do feel happiness within your heart that would have been otherwise cold. But what you chose to leave out and not answer is "How happy are you, really?" Yes, you are happy, but the happiness that you are grasping is only scant - the minimum that you think you deserve and need to grasp onto so that you can maintain the illusion of your smile. In truth, what you feel the most is not happiness, but darker emotions like grief, anguish, guilt, self-hatred. Sadness. Remorse. Bitterness. You misguide and mislead with words that may be truthful by definition, but are hiding a more significant, accurate and colder reality beneath them.

Do you have strength? Yes. Are you strong? No.

Do you care? Yes. Are you caring? No.

Do you love yourself? Yes.

Do you hate yourself?

Reiji gently caressed the small pink sakura petals between his fingers, his heart squeezing in his chest with emotions and memories.

Even more than I love myself, yes. But now, all those answers have changed, and lies of omissions do not work for me anymore. Because it has become like a mundane magic trick that neither the magician nor the audience find miraculous. Because to them whom I have given this flawed and broken heart... I cannot and do not want to lie anymore, with or without words. And I am grateful beyond anything... that they chose to do the same.

"Thank God Camus and Ai are great with flowers."

Ranmaru sighed, shaking his head in utter disbelief.

"There are way too many flowers here! And I hardly know the meanings of nearly all of 'em!"

"Looks like we'll have to ask our sweet Nattsun to teach us more the next time we go and see flowers together." Reiji chuckled as Ranmaru scratched his head while reading the list of flowers that Ai had printed out. "But come on, Ran-Ran! Nattsun's made gorgeous bouquets on his own. I'm real sure that what the four of us come up with can be a real beaut too!"

It was a warm sunny day at Hokkaido. While Natsuki and his parents were having some family bonding time together, Reiji, Ai, Ranmaru and Camus were inside a local flower shop that their best friend's parents had introduced to them. Gazing at the beautiful assortment of flowers, at the white daisies, blue forget-me-nots, violet hibiscus and countless others, Reiji almost felt like he was in a kind of wonderland, lost as to which flowers to choose. Daylight seeped through the open windows as the air remained light and tranquil, the gentle singing of birds reaching from a distance, the people inside keeping their chatter soft, almost like there was an unspoken rule to maintain the peace. Flower shops may not be nearly the most popular of tourist attractions, but their innocent simplicity was definitely something to relish in while they were there.

"I would be appalled if the end-result does not, at the very least, reach our most minimal standards," Camus remarked as he examined a couple of blue clematis. "There are four of us. As much as two particular individuals are severely lacking in the knowledge required for this activity," Camus let out a brief chuckle at Ranmaru's scowl, "I am certain that we are capable of at least meeting standards, if not surpass them."