Promise to Sirius (An Utapri / Uta no Prince-sama Fanfiction)

Chapter 19: Incandescent

Reiji Kotobuki

Why you?

Why did it have to be you?

Why did you do it? Why did you not?

What vague, ambiguous and yet common statements. Open to different interpretations, open to different meanings, open to different emotions, actions and references. Those were questions with so many possibilities, but were found to be often used in terms of cruel emotions, like jealousy, rage, hatred, grief, just like the mere word "Why?" "Why did you have to be the one chosen over me?" "Why did you have to just to drag me down?" "Why are you here when you are nothing but a burden?" Questions that started the same yet had different meanings, that were all asked and heard by humans with hearts that were meant to have empathy and yet always ended up causing harm, whether it was accidental or on purpose.

But none of them were the reason that Reiji's heart was wrenched as he sat on the edge of Natsuki's bed and watched over his best friend, with Ai standing next to him and Ren on the other side of the bed. Looking down at the unconscious blond, Reiji held onto his cold hand just like he had done before and squeezed it tightly with a heart that would always wish for him to be alright, that would always want to make sure that he was alright.

Why... Reiji muttered in his head, is it that the one who puts others before himself, even when he is at a vulnerable state, ends up being the one who has to suffer the most?

Like the sound of a cruel shatter, the words echoed in his head dully, bringing with them a cold, resounding pain.

Why... does it have to be you... Nattsun?

The memories shattered through his throbbing mind like stained glass through a deep darkness and he barely held himself back from flinching. Not again, was too simple and useless of a sentence to put into words the emotions that had struck Reiji like an unsparing arrow when Natsuki sank onto the floor more than an hour ago. Yelling out to him, Reiji dropped down and took his best friend into his arms, trying to shake him awake, unable to believe that this was happening again. Natsuki had just recovered a few days ago, but the pain had chosen to not leave him alone and instead, bring him crashing down again. As Ai placed a hand over Natsuki's chest and said that his heartbeat was faster than normal, Reiji heard Ranmaru yell out to him and he looked up, only to find the silver-haired rocker, Otoya and Cecil sprinting towards him, Ai and Natsuki.

"Rei-chan, what- Natsuki!"

"Oh no, Natsuki!"

"Reiji! Ai! What on freaking earth happened?"

Ai was the one who explained the situation to the Unit 1 members, telling them what had happened and how Natsuki collapsed. He told Otoya and Cecil to get Shining Saotome while he, Reiji and Ranmaru tended to Natsuki, and everyone complied. Within minutes, Natsuki was tucked into his bed and all of Starish and Quartet Night was gathered in Unit 3's bedroom with Shining standing in front of them and discussing the circumstances with them.

"Considering that Mr Shinomiya was mostly well and showed no signs of exhaustion," Shining said, his eyes grim, "this may be a direct consequence of the last time he collapsed, when Satsuki attempted to force his way out of Mr Shinomiya."

"That dunce again?" Syo exclaimed and Ranmaru and Camus shot him a glare, but Shining continued.

"However, I believe that that is not all there is to know regarding Mr Shinomiya's case."

"What do you mean, Shining-san?" Ai asked as Reiji's eyes shifted over to Natsuki, whose face held a serene expression that hid the pain and sadness that he held deep within his heart. The last time Shining had a discussion about Natsuki's condition, Reiji learned that Natsuki's heart would break if the strain on his heart did not end. Hiding a pained smile of his own, Reiji clasped Natsuki's shoulder gently, his heart thudding at the thought of what Shining was about to tell them. Regardless what it was...