Promise to Sirius (An Utapri / Uta no Prince-sama Fanfiction)

Chapter 40: Tides of Time

Reiji Kotobuki

The sound of the sea.

The gentleness of the waves sweeping into your ear as you hold a seashell close to it, your eyes sometimes falling to a still close as your ears listen carefully, a tide of quiet serenity enveloping you which you welcome without any protest. They say that the sound you hear is the sound of the ocean, that the somehow-soothing roar and rush you hear surging through your ears are the ocean's. But as magical as it may sound... that is not exactly true. Even though it sounded like quite the world wonder.

... even though... that would have been beautiful.

That rush you hear is not the sea, but the noise of your surroundings reverberating within the shell's cavity, like the trembling of leaves and wings, faltering of flowers, and if you are at the beach or seaside, the sea itself. It's a phenomena called "seashell resonance", which does sound rather precious even if the truth is not actually a magical one. Amidst it all, the sounds you hear also include your blood flowing within your body, your muscles doing what they have to do, and others. 

Did those sounds include the human heartbeat?

The wavering of a heart that has been broken, the leaps and bounds of a heart glowing brightly, the expanding and contracting of a heart hoping to remain calm and conceal its suffering.

Can you hear your heartbeat amidst the sounds of the sea?

Reiji's eyes remained gently shut as his arms hugged his plushie to his chest, behind which a heart was pulsing melodiously and yet laced with sadness.

Can we... Aine?

Another year had ended. Another year had gone by, disappeared, and ended. Another year of laughter, cries and smiles. Another year of fireworks, rainstorms and dancing leaves, petals and snow. This time, with even more genuine smiles, less false laughter and true lies, more warm tears and sincerity, with his heart taken in and embraced by the people who loved and cared about him unconditionally even after he had told him the truth about his past. This year, this warm year that was by far the best year he ever had for a long, long time now, had ended, just like every other year before it.

But... it also meant that another year had gone by without Aine.

Another year without his first best friend opening his eyes and smiling, without truly living.

Another year without someone... who had always been dear to him.

It was the first week of the new year. Everyone had resumed idol work early as the STARISH X QUARTET NIGHT project was still ongoing and there was a flurry of interviews, photo shoots and projects to handle now that QUARTET NIGHT had officially revealed that they were a five-man band instead of a quartet with Natsuki being their newest and final member. But for now, it was nighttime, and everyone had retreated to their respective bedrooms after watching the television and chatting over tea in the living room together, all most likely already fast asleep.

Except for Reiji.

Laying sideways on the king-sized bed, Reiji quietly shifted his gaze over to Natsuki, who was sleeping peacefully on his left, a gentle smile gracing his innocent expression, arms wrapped gently around the personalised fawn plushie that the four senpais had gotten him for Christmas. Even amidst his own sorrow, Reiji could not help the sincere smile curving on his lips as warmth coursed through his heart in the silence of the night. The first night of the new year, he had been woken up by an anguished Natsuki from a cold nightmare of Aine. In that nightmare, Aine had died in his coma, just after a few more years of his heart beating without his eyes opening or smiling. Reiji had cried out to him helplessly in that dream, desperately hoping that it was not happening, that there was still a chance that Aine would remain alive, but the teal-haired male only faded more and more without even the slightest twitch of his hands or lips.