When Love Gets Complicated [ A One Direction fanfiction <3 ]

Chapter 74 - Final decisions, Final choices.

Harry had brought me to a hotel, resting his arm across my stomach and making sure I was okay. He understood what I was going through, the pain of knowing that you may never get them back. He once felt it when he was forced to leave me, when he lost me.

Nothing happened that night. Harry was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of my hopelessness. I only lied down with him, trying to understand what had just happened, how much I would miss Zayn, how our friendship was already ruined, and how moving to LA would change everything. Everything was just happening so fast. The entire gang was moving on. They all had a point: Liam and Danielle acted mature enough to settle down together and find a good career that they both enjoyed. Staying in one place may not allow them to find all the opportunities out there as they would get travelling to other places. Louis and Eleanor really needed to settle down as well. There wasn’t enough room for the both of them and Sapphire in Eleanor’s flat. They were a family now and they needed to be together. Nat and Niall still weren’t sure of what to do, but they’re young and figuring things out. They still had time – something I wish hadn’t rushed me to my decision. Lauren was happy to be going back to her family; she deserved to see them again. After all, family is family. But there was that memory that would always haunt me of my past and past relationships. Sapphire, my beautiful baby girl. When you’re a parent, you catch yourself looking at your child and trying to figure out what pieces of them came from you and which came from their father. She had a smile like mine and the almond shape and dark hair of Zayn’s. I knew looking at her now would remind me of everything that could have been. It was another reason why I still didn’t regret passing Sapphire onto Louis and Eleanor. It was the best decision I could have ever made. Although, it pained me to see a part of me, mine and Zayn’s intertwined D.N.A., with someone else. That I couldn’t call that beautiful child my own. It hurt, a lot. But I knew she was in good hands, so that made it all better.

I felt like taking my life and ending everything. That would just be perfect. I would be running away from my problems again, but hey, wasn’t that what I always did? It seemed like the easiest way out.

Harry moved closer towards me, gently cupping my face with his hands. He took his thumb and wiped away the tear that was just about to make its fall from my eyelid.

How many more tears could I possibly shed?

“Stop crying Rach, I hate to see you like this. Last night was the hardest thing for me to see. Your condition was just horrid. To see you in so much pain and knowing I couldn’t do anything. Rachel I just… I wish I could help you. But it sucks to know that I’m part of this whole problem and madness. I’m sorry.” He apologized, his eyes facing away from me.

I brushed my hands through his soft curls. Oh how I missed cuddling with him like this – the memories we had back then. I missed this so much. It was like before, where I didn’t have to worry about there being another person in the picture. I was glad to know that I had Harry all to myself and didn’t have to feel as if I were cheating on Zayn. It was just… us. I finally had that back.

“Don’t be sorry Harry. Everything that’s happened is because of me. I wish that, somehow, I could turn back time. I would make sure that I only stayed friends with Zayn, nothing more. If I could, I would completely scratch Kate out of our past, even though she’s gone for good now. I would go back and eliminate all that extra, unnecessary drama….UGH! I’ve made so many mistakes and I just hope I don’t make them again.“ I sniffled, running my hand under my nose to make sure there weren’t any boogs down there.

“You’re only human, Rach. Humans make mistakes. Ask me, I would know.” He whispered to me, kissing my cheek.

I giggled. He really was the only one who could put a smile on my face right now.