Chapter 15

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Katherina POV

One week later

Breathing is life. Living is life. To be alive is life.

According to this, I'm living a normal life because I'm breathing, I'm living and also alive but is it really what we can call living?

I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I want to do. I don't have anybody left. I haven't talked with mom, dad, my friends...nobody. I wonder if they even miss me anymore. I think a lot about them, I miss spending time with mom, I miss chatting with her, I miss my college, I miss Alessia and Seth, I miss working at café.

My whole life has been ripped apart in a moment.

I can't dare to ask Nathan to let me meet my parents and friends. I miss my hometown so much, although he had allowed me to go out still I feel prisoned here all the time. I have no one to talk to, Nathan himself is always busy, he stays out most of the time, and every day I fell asleep before he comes back home.

Well, now it's like a regular thing that he gets intimate with me. I know that I'm physically attracted to him and there is nothing wrong with it because he is gonna be my husband, right? Although there are no feelings, emotions or sentiments involve neither I want to get involve emotionally into anything related to him because I don't want my heart to be crushed into pieces.

He told me that he is my world, nothing else should matter to me anymore and he made sure that my life revolves around him. I remember when he said, 'Your attention is mine, your soul is mine, your heart is mine and of course your body will be mine soon' and he was right, he left nothing for me which can have my attention, he left nobody to give my soul or my body too, he took all of it.

Nathan is my life now and also my reality.

I know that he took everything from me but he will never be able to have my soul and my heart. I cannot give my heart to someone who has separated me from my family, who has taken away everything from me, who has taken away my laugh, my excitement, my passion, my dreams... my life, my world.

There is no use to waste my tears anymore because I know nothing is going to change, I will never have the normal life that I always wanted so I got up to make coffee for myself. I read the newspaper with my coffee and it was full of crimes happening around the world. I mean why these people do these kinds of things. Theft, kidnapping, assault, murder... but who I'm to say anything, I live with the mafia leader.

I was busy in my thoughts when the front door opened, I lift my head to see who was entering and it was none other than the don himself.

I kept my newspaper to the side when he walked towards me and slumped on the couch next to me. His sleeves were folded up to his elbow, the top two buttons of his shirt were undone and his hair was all messed up. He looked tired as he slumped against the couch and rested his head on the backrest closing his eyes.

"You want me to get you water?" I ask him when he didn't move or opened his eyes for a while. I thought he is asleep when he nodded his head.

I got up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water for him. He drank the water and passed the glass back to me. I was about to get up to keep the glass back when he pulled me back on the couch, his eyes were still close. He took my free hand and brought it to his head and I understood that he wants me to massage his head so I put the glass down on the table and moved closer to him to give him a head massage.

"Get ready. We are going out" Nathan finally spoke relaxing under the work of my fingers.

"Where?" I ask him massaging his head.

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