Illusion- sectorM sequel

8-feel something

t/w: mentions of self harm, I'll put a marker when. ack ill try to make this the only one.)

it was a few days after jongho's birthday when the boys had first started to take note on their parents strange behavior. jimin and jungkook would be more wary of their surroundings, more protective over them. they didn't mind it much until jimin had told them too call them right after they got out of school and if anything around them seemed off.

seonghwa tightened the grip he had on his book bags straps as he walked down the schools stairwell into the boys locker room. he had officially been enrolled in this school for a little under a month. having gym 2 days out of the five he had somehow managed to avoid the locker rooms until today.

the gym teacher had gotten frustrated with him being the only one upstairs while all the other students placed their bags in the lockers, so he made him go to them or he would mark him absent. taking a deep breath, the seventeen year old pushed open the door to the locker room. less than surprised to see the amount of boys in it. some playing around, some changing and some just lounging around like they didn't have a class to return to.

slowly but steadily he walked to the locker he had been assigned to, slinging his bag off of his shoulder and placing it inside the locker.

' you know angry bird, you sure do look pretty with tears on your face.'

' I wonder if everyone sounds as pretty as you do.'

' this is our secret park, don't think I won't find you.'

seonghwa's throat felt as if it would close up and he would suffocate the longer he stayed in that locker room. it had been a month, he was in a new school surrounded by friends and people who knew nothing about him, so why did it feel so fresh? why were the words so vivid? why did it feel like it was happening now?

he bit his tongue in an effort to calm his chest, jumping when he felt a cold hand come in contact with his exposed shoulder.

" hey, hey its just me hwa. ar-are you okay? why are you crying?" hongjoong removed his hand from seonghwa's shoulder, placing them up in a sign of surrender. the older males breathing only quickened once he realized he had been crying. he quickly changed his shirt before wiping his tears,  standing up and walking out of the locker room. failing to realize hongjoong was directly behind him.

the younger grabbed his wrist softly causing him to stop and face him. " are you okay? what's going on."

seonghwa shook his head " i'm fine. please just leave it alone."

hongjoong nodded, letting seonghwa's wrist fall from his grasp as he followed closely behind the blonde. through out the gym class, hongjoong kept a closer eye on seonghwa, taking note on the older glassy emotionless stare or how he seemed dazed most of the class. he kept it to himself though knowing the elder wouldn't want to talk to him about it, maybe yeosang knew.

the bell had rung, signaling for the class to go downstairs to the locker rooms to retrieve their belongings. then head over to their next class. hongjoong took notice to the way seonghwa seemed to hesitate and freeze at the entrance so he told him to wait there.

he retrieved his and seonghwa's bag. the older took his bag from hongjoong's hand, awkwardly bowing and muttering an awkward  'thanks' before running as fast as he could up the stairs. lunch time approached quickly. hongjoong found himself situated between wooyoung and yeosang. while mingi, yunho, jongho and san sat directly across from them. seonghwa no where to be seen.

" so? where's mars?" san asked. the group had taken on calling seonghwa mars after san had been cursed out for innocently comparing him to, and then calling him an angry bird. all eyes shifted to yeosang like they expected him to know where seonghwa was.

he shrugged. " I don't know, the only class I have with him is biology and thats our first period. he's probably caught up in his class."

hongjoong felt slightly guilty, maybe he should tell them what he had saw. should he go look for him? he decided against it though, seonghwa told him to leave it alone so thats what he was going to do.  from then on out the rest of the day had gone by quickly. hongjoong seeing no sight of seonghwa, whom he shared three out of his four remaining classes with and before he knew it , he and mingi found themselves outside of their house.

_-_-_-_(⚠️ tw: self harm. read at your own risk )

seonghwa laid on his bed quietly. he needed to breath, so after hongjoong had given him his bag, he had quickly ran home. jimin and jungkook wouldn't be back for another couple of hours and neither would yeosang, being that it was only one thirty and school didn't let out until three fifty.

he stripped off hoodie and t shirt, running his thumb over the healing wounds. honestly with the move going on, adjusting to things and being watched by his brother and parents he couldn't exactly relieve his stress the way he had grown bitterly used to.

the chilling yet satisfying sting of the silver blade sliding across his arm was more than enough to make him forget his worries. to momentarily help him feeling something, yet nothing at the same time. his nose filled with the metallic smell while the warm crimson liquid seeped out of the fresh wounds and down his scarred skin. dripping onto his polished floor. finally he felt calm, like he could process everything and then he felt everything.

it was a slightly vicious cycle the teenager had with himself. the thing that helped him relive stress, aided in reminding him that he was a living, breathing, person, was the very same thing he hated. hating how he resorted to it, how it turned his tan skin into nothing more than tattered terrain that he allowed people to walk on.

he liked the pain yet at the same time hated it. it was the only time he ever felt something, anything. he hated it almost as much as he hated being able to feel air in feel his lungs when he'd much rather have nothing in them at all.

but he was too scared to act upon it, so he continued to day by day, let the air fill his lungs.

(end...sorry flowers if you felt uncomfortable )

before he knew it, the door downstairs had been unlocked and yeosang's voice boomed through the two story house. seonghwa looked down, noticing the blood on his arms had dried up, he quickly ran into the bathroom beside his room, locking the door before running his arm under the water.  watching it turn a rusty brown color.

" hyung? are you here?" yeosang questioned, turning the knob to the bathroom door.

" uuuh yeah, im kind of busy Yeo." he called back. turning off he water and drying his arms only then did he realize he hadn't brought anything to cover his arms.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." he mumbled under his scurrying around to find something to cover them. " hyuunng? are you alright in there?"

" fine!" he shouted back finding a random hoodie in and throwing it on before opening the door. when he did, yeosang looked him up and down furrowing his eyebrows as he grabbed the hem of the baby blue hoodie. " why are you wearing my hoodie."

seonghwa shrugged, quickly walking passed the younger boy without a care and into his bedroom. yeosang quickly on his tail. the elder laid down on his bed and throwing a pillow over his head. yeosang on the other hand stayed silent as his eyes focused on the blood coated blade and blood on the floor.

" seonghwa? what the fuck did you do...?"