My bully , Ashton Irwin

chapter 40

Chris's P.O.V.

I opened my eyes with difficulty as I had previously cried a river . I looked up to be greeted by Ashton's mesmerizing eyes . I burried my head further in his chest looking for more warmth . His arms tightened around me . I feel safe in his arms . I feel that no one can harm me . I just want to stay forever like this with him . I feel crap because of my mom but he makes me feel better . " How are you feeling ?" he asked softly.

" Better ." I responded .

" Don't harm yourself again , please ." he said , his voice cracking at the end ." I dont want you to hurt ." he added . Nobody has ever said that to me before .

" Okay ." was all I could manage to say . I know that I will self harm again , but I can't tell him that . I dont want him to worry about me .

'' I mean it , Chris . Never cut again. If you feel sad , talk to me . I care for you .'' he said softly and a tear rolled down my cheek . " I don't want you to cry ever again." he whispered , wiping my tear and my heart skipped a beat. Having someone telling me that made me feel special.He connected his lips with mine . Our lips moved perfectly together until the door opened. We broke our contact and looked at Michael who had a huge grin on his face .

" Not in my house , guys . Did you at least use protection ? " he asked and Ashton laughed . Does he mean what I think he means ?Oh god . I hid my blushing by pulling the covers over me and sinking further into the cozy bed . I heard Michael laughing loudly and Ashton pulled the covers off me .

'' We didn't do that .'' I said awkwardly .

'' Anyway , I should go .'' Ashton said getting up '' It's getting late .'' he added and I got up from the bed . We all went up to the door . '' Goodbye Anne .'' he said and Anne smiled at him , as we passed the kitchen , where she was washing the dishes . '' Goodnight guys .'' he said and kissed my cheek , before leaving . Michael closed the door and turned to look at me , a smile plastered on his face .

'' What ?'' I asked and he laughed at me . '' Nothing .''he said and we went to the kitchen . Anne was looking at me smiling so much , that it probably hurted her cheekbones . Michael must have told her about my mum .

'' Let's have dinner , shall we ?'' she said as she placed three bowls of soup on the table . We all sat at the table and grabbed our spoons . Anne's cooking is the best . She always cooks something tasty , so I wasn't surprised that when I tasted the soup , I wanted to eat two bowls.'' Grandma , invited us for Christmas .'' Anne said and Michael's eyes lit up . I recalled the time that we had spent Christmas with my grandma . It was probably the best holiday I ever had . '' Ashton's mum told me that he will be alone again this year .'' Anne said and the smile on her face faded . I turned my head to look at her . A questioning look on my face .

'' Why ? What do you mean again ?'' I asked .

'' Well , his parents' work requires a lot of trips abroad . They will be in Spain this year . Ashton wil practically spend holidays alone this year .'' she said .'' The same thing happened last year .'' she added . 

Ashton's P.O.V.

I was sitting on the table table with my parents . I usually never eat with them . Not only because they are rarely at home , but also because I don't feel like it most of the time . My dad was wearing an expensive suit and my mother's hair and make up looked flawless . I dont think that most families eat like this . I looked at my mom , who gave me a smile , showing her perfectly straight teeth . I turned my gaze on my plate . My mum had cooked something fancy with a lot of ingredients that she had previously named, but to be honest I dont remember anything of what she said .The awkward silence made me wanna leave , but I stayed . Who knows when will I have the opportunity to sit like this with my parents again .

'' So , how is school going ?'' my dad asked , not even looking at me .

'' Good .'' I simply answered taking a bite of the what seemed like chicken .

''Any girls ?'' mum asked and Chris instantly came in my mind .The way that I held here , as she slept. The way she kisses me back , sweetly  . A smile instantly spread on my face .'' I will take that as a yes .'' she added .

'' So Ashton , me and your mother have something really important to tell you .'' my father said placing his fork down . '' We wont be home for holidays this year .'' he said in a flat tone and I just stared at him .

'' I am so sorry , honey . I know that we promised that we would spend holidays together , but we dont have any other choice .'' my mum said , putting her hand on my arm .Of course , they have a choice . They just rather spend the holiday working than being with their son . I stood up from the table and and marched in my room , not listening to my mother calling me to get back in the table so we could talk it out .

I dont want to talk anything out . I just want to be alone.I am bothered by the fact that I will be alone again . As mush as I hate to admit it , I want to spend time with my parents , but I could never tell them that . I feel sad and angry at the same time . My own parents don't want to spend time with me . I picked up my phone and dialed her number . I want to hear her voice . After three rings she picked it up .

''Hi .'' she said . I must have woken her up , as her voice sounded sleepy .

''Did I wake you up ?'' I asked .

'' No , I was just laying .'' she said , probably lying . '' Is everything okay ?'' she asked .

'' My parents told me that they woint be home for holidays again this year .'' I said staring at the ceiling .

'' I know .'' she said .

'' How ?'' I asked

''Your mum told Anne . I am sorry .'' she said .

'' It's okay . I am used to being alone .'' I said chuckling bitterly .

'' Well , you shouldn't be alone at Christmas time . I know how it is and it sucks .'' she said and I chuckled .

'' What are the Clifford's planning for Christmas ?'' I asked .

'' They are probably going to spend it with Michael's grandma .They said that I was invited , but I don't want to be a dead weight .'' she said .

'' You know what it would be cool ?'' I asked her .

''What ?''

'''If we spend it together .'' I said smiling .

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HELLO !!!!!! I am not really proud of this chap , to be honest . Do you think that Ashton's idea is cool ??? Comment down below !Thank you so much for passing 285k !!!!! I love you all so much !!! . Sorry if this has some spelling or grammatical errors , I am writing this with my eyes half-closed . Anyway , thank you for reading and supporting this story !!!

shoutout to : @LesliePayneIrwin , she is writing her first Boy to Boy book , so show her some support if you want to ! 

Love ya , bye

xoxoC.