Let Yourself Fall // sequel to My Ethan Karpathy

Chapter 29.

ETHANS POV:

"Wait, what?" I ask, just making sure I heard right.

"See! I knew this would happen! Now you're going to think I'm some sort of freak and never talk to me again!" Jye literally sobs.

"No, no, I would never. This doesn't change anything. You're still one of my best friends ever." I reassure him.

"I'm sorry, I had to tell someone. And the first person I wanted to know was you. I trust you."

"Can I tell Paisley?" I ask.

"Please don't. Please, please don't tell anyone." Jye states, his voice cracking with urgency.

"It's okay, I'm not going to. I promise, okay? Hey, I have to go. Thank you for telling me and I'll talk to you soon." I say. He hangs up with a sniffly goodbye and I just lean my head back on the wall, close my eyes and take a deep breath. I sit there in peace for a few seconds before I feel someone's presence in front of me.

"Why did he do it?" A slightly angry voice says. It was Paisley.

"He um- he just didn't feel it anymore." I try my best. I can't lie to her.

"That's bullshit. What happened?" She snaps.

"Paisley, I can't tell you." I say, trying to sound sorry and sympathetic.

"Tell me."

"No." I reply. I think my short reply just sent her off.

"My best friend is falling to pieces over this! Her heart is broken and she doesn't even know why! Tell me!" Paisley suddenly yells.

"Paisley! I'm sorry, it's not my place to say!" I reply, trying not to yell or say something I'll regret.

"Is everything okay?" I hear Chris ask from down the hall. I look up to see three confused faces staring at us. Paisley ignores them, so I do too.

"What happened to never keeping secrets from each other!? No matter what!? Does this promise mean anything to you!?" She screams, pointing to the ring on her finger.

"Okay, well, we'll just.. be at my house if you need us." Chris says as he, Brai and Cat walk quickly out the room.

"That ring, that promise, it means so much to me! I just can't tell you, okay?!" I say, standing up and walking over to her. I'm reasonably taller than her so I stand over the top of her so she knows I'm more powerful. I feel so bad right now, i hate this, but I can't show it.

"Ethan!" She shouts right in my face.

"He just doesn't like her!" I try. I hope she just takes it and leaves it now. But she doesn't.

"Well, maybe I just don't like you anymore!"

She went there.

"Paisley," I sigh, but I don't think it's working. "We can't fight over them."

"Stop fucking bullshitting me! Tell me now, Ethan!"

"I can't!" I yell. I didn't want to yell, but it doesn't seem to phase her.

"Stop being a fucking prick. Tell me now!" She yells. Our faces are only inches away from each other, but she's not looking at my face, she's staring straight ahead at my shoulders. I don't know what's going on, but I do know that I promised Jye. This isn't exactly a small thing and it's only fair he comes out to who he wants, when he wants.

"What did you just call me?" I ask, lowering my voice.

"A. Fucking. Prick." she replies loudly.

"And I'm the prick? I can't tell you!" I reply. I can't help but feel hurt now.

"Ethan Karpathy. Do you want to be with me or not?" She yells at my chest. She went there. She really went there. Again.

"He's gay, Paisley!" I yell as i watch her face relax into an emotion I can't even explain.

She finally looks up at me, her mouth falling slightly open. I give her a look with mixed emotions of anger, sadness, confusion and a tiny hint of hatred. Hatred at her for the way she acted, but mainly hatred at myself for letting myself tell her.

"Ethan, I'm-" Paisley starts but doesn't get to finish because I run away without letting her see the tears that were forming in my eyes.