The Secret Struggle

Jealousy (Uncensored)

The world was mine now and I was ready to face it. I was ready to go about things my own way. I was ready to start my new life and try to be who I really was.

The only thing that I really hated was the restriction that I had because of my school. If I wanted to smoke or even drink, I certainly couldn't do it on campus, I'd have to go off. If I was going to have sex, it'd have to be elsewhere because there was no way a guy could ever get into my room.

I sat on a bench in the mall and just watched people go by. I didn't really know what I was doing here, I just knew that I couldn't deal with bein in my dorm room. I needed to be free. I needed to be out in the world and just experiencing things. And I needed it really badly.

I sighed as I watched lots of couples walk by holding hands. I really wanted someone to be with. I'd never really even had that. It was closest with Noel, but I wasn't fully invested because I couldn't get over the fact that she was a girl. But with every guy, it was never like that. It seemed much more based on the physical contact than any of the emotional part, which was what I was really craving. I wanted a guy who could care about me and just want to be there with me. I really needed that at the moment.

I was about to get up and head to do a little bit of shopping because I figured that since I was here I might as well make some use out of it. I wanted some clothing that was more my style. I was tired of being so limited by lame ass tops and boring ass jeans. I wanted a much bigger variety. I wanted some rather short shorts, some skirts, both of which were much more for the summer. I also wanted some blouses and other tops that were somewhat revealing, but just cute in general. And I also wanted some just plain t-shirts. I didn't want an image as being slutty or anything like that. I just wanted to be me. And to be honest, some days I didn't want to show off anything. I just wanted to be comfortable.

As I was in the process of getting up, I looked over and saw a sight that nearly made me faint. Noel. Not only Noel, but Noel and a girl. And not only were they together, but they were kissing. They were fucking kissing. I couldn't believe it. How could she get over me so fast? What a bitch!

I turned on my heels and started walking as far away from her as I could. I went into the first store that I could find and grabbed a few random clothing items that I thought might look good and then hurried back to the dressing room. I really needed to get away and just be by myself.

I took a seat on the small bench that was in the dressing room and the leaned up against the walls, hiding myself from anyone who might have wanted to look up and under the small area of the stalls.

I sighed and wanted really badly to take out a cigarette and just start smoking. But I figured that wouldn't turn out too well and I wanted to be rational, so I decided against it.

Before I'd laid down, I'd stripped down to just my panties. I'd gone without a bra for the day because I wanted to feel a little bit free. It was sort of exciting going without it at my school. I just had to make sure that it wasn't too obvious. That's why I'd worn a bit of a loose fitting t-shirt. I knew it didn't look super great, maybe even a tad sloppy, but I really didn't give a damn.

"Oh yes! That one would look so perfect on you." I heard the loud booming voice as clear as day, and it was clearly coming from just outside the dressing room area in the main store.

"Shit." I mumbled under my breath. Why did she have to bring that bitch in here? I came in here to get away from those two, damnit.

I tried to tune them out as they continued on talking, but the more that they were talking the harder it was to be able to just ignore what they were saying. I heard every word as clear as day and with every one of them I just wanted to go out there and just start strangling whoever that bitch was that was with Noel. I just couldn't take it.