The Secret Struggle

In Too Deep

The metal cords of the chair shoved their way into my ass as I sat and stared at my computer which I had perfectly situated on the matching ugly back metal table. I sat outside of my favorite coffee shop, Leonardo's Bistro. It wasn't exactly outside because it was winter and had been transformed by closing the large glass sliding doors to keep the glass full enclosed. There were space heaters all around and running to keep the place warm, and I was certainly thankful for that because I would have been freezing my ass off otherwise.

I stared at my computer screen while aimlessly go around to different internet pages. I was exactly sure what I wanted to do. I had come to try to get some homework done, but I was in no mood to write up some exegesis shit for Micah 6 for my Exegesis of the Minor Prophets class. That class absolutely bored me out of my mind. I could care less about the minor prophets, but it was the only Old Testament exegesis course that I could get in before I was graduating.

I pulled a cigarette out of my purse and lit it up. There wasn't anyone else out on the heated patio, or whatever you wanted to call it, at the moment, so I didn't truly care that I was smoking in an inclosed place. I inhaled the smoke and felt a since of peace come over me. It felt nice and refreshing and was just what I needed at the moment to calm me down and take my mind off of my homework for a bit.

I went back to searching around the internet for a while. I got a bit bored and decided to look up some ethical questions. I didn't know exactly why, but Christian ethical issues was becoming very interesting to me at the moment. I wanted get to the point where I could prove that most of the modern day beliefs of the church were a bunch of bullshit and needed to be a bit reformed. For starters, I was beginning to believe that smoking, drinking, though maybe not getting drunk, but I wasn't sure, m*sturbating, looking at p*rn, sex, and maybe even homosexuality weren't wrong at all. But I wasn't sure, so I figured I could start by doing a little bit of research.

I typed "Christian Sex" into the search engine and then waited for the results to pop up. Because I was feeling a bit h*rny, I flipped over to the pictures hoping to find some not so safe for work content, but was disappointed when I saw nothing of the kind. I then flipped back to the web search but couldn't find much of what I wanted. I then tried another church "Christians Defending Casual Sex." After going through a few links, I finally found one that actually looked promising and I clicked on it.

It was called "Are Christian's Too Condemning of Casual Sex?" I began reading through it, and the author, Emily Bridgewater, talked about how the word fornication isn't how it should really be translated. She talked about the Greek word πορνεία really meaning adultery as opposed to all more kinds of sexual sin as many Christians like to say. She says:

Christians over the ages have stuck with the tradition of fornication. It is a huge stretch to even make it mean that. Plus, most Christians don't really even know what fornication means. It's just a pointless term to them. What the Bible really talks about when it is translated as "fornication" or "sexual immorality" or something of the like is adultery. It's plain and simple. The Bible says don't cheat on your spouse, but it says nothing beyond that. Of course, this can clearly be applied to relationships as well. Christians certainly shouldn't be bedding more than one person at once, unless in a relationship that isn't exclusive. The Bible condemns cheating, but not casual sex.

Christians need to get off of their high horses and start living in the real world. This isn't the 20th century anymore. We aren't bound by those d*mn rules. It's the 21st century and we have the right to f*ck whoever we want, unless of course we are in a committed relationship, and then we can only with the person to whom we are committed.

I saved the blog post to my favorites and then searched through more of the author's writings and found quite a bit that I liked and agreed with.

I took one last drag of my wanning cigarette and then smashed it out on the ground. I then sat my in my chair, despite the slight pain in my back from the metal bars which were by no means comfortable at all. I thought and thought and then came to the conclusion that I should make my own blog just like the girl I had just read, Emily.