Paper Parachute | Celebrity Romance

43.

Blake tossed and turned the whole night. His mind raced with what if's and questions he didn't have the answers to.

When dawn began to break through the curtains he relented to the fact that he would not be getting any sleep and rolled from the bed. He did his best to make his movements quiet so as not to disturb his sleeping girlfriend. Her face was so peaceful as she rested her features relaxed and the worry lines that had framed her face for days were nowhere to be found. Blake could not say the same for himself.

He had no clue what to do to busy himself until she woke up. He lounged on the couch and flipped though the channels searching for anything even remotely interesting to occupy his time to prevent him from just waking her up and demanding an answer. Finding nothing, he stood once more and made his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge he removed the ingredients necessary to cook them breakfast and set to work. Forty five minutes later he nudged open the door, breakfast tray in hand as he moved towards her. He placed the tray on the bedside table and shook her gently, after a moment she stirred and then finally opened her eyes.

"Good morning, B." He said with a small smile. "I made you breakfast, thought it might help cheer you up."

She blinked the sleep from her eyes and plopped her face back into her pillow with a sigh.

"Is there chocolate milk?" Came the muffled reply a moment later.

"Does a one legged duck swim in circles?" He asked with a chuckle. The sound of her laughter at his stupid question was music to his ears. She rolled over and sat up. Her hands rubbed at her eyes as she stretched and let out a yawn.

"Good morning." She said leaning towards him and offering a kiss. He kissed her back longing for answers and an end to this weirdness between them. He didn't want to escalate or assume anything so he joined her in partaking of the food he had prepared while he turned the words over in his mind, trying to come up with the best way to ask what he needed to.

"What has you up so early?" She asked, giving him an out on starting the conversation.

"I just couldn't sleep. I've been worried about you, B." He said softly, his eyes searching until they found hers.

"I'm fine, Blake. I promise. You don't need to worry about me." She said nonchalantly and he did his best not to show his growing anger, she was hiding things from him and he didn't understand why.

"So you're sure there is nothing you want to talk to me about?" He asked pointedly, his eyes drifting over towards his side of the bed where he had placed the box the night before.

She looked at him, her hand stopping halfway between her plate of eggs and her mouth. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head no.

He huffed as he stood, walking around to his side of the bed and grabbing the test, tossing it onto the bed in front of her. "What's this then?" He asked, straining to keep control of his voice.

She sighed as her eyes met his. She rolled her head from her left shoulder to her right her mind moving a million miles a minutes as she tried to choose her words.

"It's obviously not nothing, Blair." He stated firmly, needing her to know that she could no longer run from this conversation as she had seemingly been trying to for days.

"I got a notification from my pharmacy on the flight home from Germany that my birth control was ready for pickup." She said, her tone was even but she wouldn't meet his eyes. "It was weird though because I pick them up at the end of my period week, and I wasn't on my period. I started freaking out. You were asleep and I didn't want to worry you until I knew if there was something to worry about. I didn't need both of us losing our shit, so I called Brooke."

She breathed heavily, her voice shaking as she continued. "When we got to the airport for our flight switch I bought a test in one of the shops and took it. I don't know if it was just old or I did it wrong or what but the results were inconclusive."

"Inconclusive?" He asked, breaking his silence for the first time since she had begun her story.

"Yeah, it was like a mixture of both the possible results which meant it wasn't accurate either way. So I worried the whole way home and then Brooke came over. She didn't really need to borrow anything, she was just covering for me while I took another test."

"And?" He pressed, not wanting to wait any longer for the answer he needed most.

"And it was negative. I'm not pregnant."

"Oh." He said.

"Oh?" She asked, repeating him.

"Yeah, I guess, I just, when I saw the test and we hadn't spoken about it, I just assumed..."

"You just assumed I was pregnant?" She asked. He nodded in response, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Well, I'm not." She said softly, setting down her food on the tray and leaning back towards her side of the bed. She opened the drawer of her nightstand and produced a small blue and white stick, the end covered by a cap and the screen displaying, clear as day, "not pregnant." She stared at him, trying to decipher the look on his face. "I got my period last night. It must have just been the stress of the lawsuit, our fight, your brother, but, everything is fine."

He should have felt relief, he should have felt a weight fall from his shoulders that he wasn't going to become a dad at twenty five with his girlfriend of six months. But he didn't.

He did his best to hide it but honestly the emotion most prominent within him was...disappointment and he didn't know what to do with that.

"Blair I, I don't know what to say." He offered, scooting closer to her on the bed and removing the tray from between them. She settled against his chest, the strong fragrance of her shampoo infiltrating his nostrils.

"It's fine." She mumbled, her words distorted by his shirt that her face was pressed against.

But it wasn't. Not to Blake at least. He had never in his life wanted children, not outright at least but now after convincing himself she was pregnant and then learning she wasn't he felt jipped. Like the opportunity had been taken away from him. He knew that line of thinking was flawed, crazy even but he didn't care.

"I'm only twenty two, we both have busy lives. Hell, we haven't even seen if we can survive when we have to be apart for work. We would never have survived having a baby." She said more to herself than to him and he wondered if maybe she was feeling the same way.

She was his future, nothing else mattered to him, not anymore. His thoughts, now more than ever, drifted back to the small black box hidden in the bottom of his sock drawer at his home.

AN: No BB Baby... yet, at least. This book is wrapping up. Maybe only one more chapter :( I have ideas for a "second book" but if I do it it will be a "part two" of this book to help with reads and such. Thank you for joining me in Blair and Blake's world!

ILY,

Sav