caught up ; mattia polibio

✰ chapter 42 ✰

song of the chapter- doing it wrong by drake

alejandro's pov

soon enough, march turned to april, april turned to may and there was a month until i left for jersey city so deja and i were trying to spend as much time together as possible. we'll both admit it's been a really rough time for us over these past few months but we always make it through. today we went to the park and walked my dog, the boathouse cafe, and now i'm driving her home. one hand on her thigh as always and singing our hearts out as per usual. i'm really going to miss days like this. i know i'm only going away for a month but four weeks is a long time without the person you love the most.

i pulled in and parked in her driveway. "deja i cant stop thinking about next month." she stared at the ground, "yea it's going to be hard for us but we'll be okay i think." she thinks? "you think?" i asked, "you don't know?" she shrugged, "i guess you never know anything for sure." i was shocked. this goes against everything we've promised each other forever. "what happened to the happy us? what happened to the deja that wanted to grow up and marry me? have kids with me? be around me 24/7? where is she, huh? where is she deja?" i was heated at this point. i didn't mean to raise my voice at her but i was livid. she crossed her arms in annoyance, "maybe she grew up a little and realized not every little thing needs a fcking plan." she opened the car door, slammed it shut and walked up her steps. wow. we hadn't fought like that in awhile. maybe we need to be apart for a month because she's obviously not happy with me at all. i just don't understand what more i could do. i do everything for deja. i keep her happy, i care about her, i took her into the city twice with my own money, love her unconditionally and most of the time unless she's getting something in return that's not enough for her. i did mean it every single time i said i wanted to be with deja forever but i guess she didn't. this isn't the end of us obviously, it's just a stupid fight but she just made me feel like a fcking idiot. she acts so selfish sometimes when all i try to ever do is make her happy and love her. it's just unfair. so fcking unfair. i drove home pissed off.

i slammed my door shut the minute i walked in. i wasn't in the mood to hear from my mom or my brother. i put my phone on do not disturb, started playing some music and just laid in bed, anything i needed to do to distract myself from how i felt. i was so hurt and i felt betrayed. plans i'd felt were going to come true for well over two years now are barely even a though in the love of my life's mind anymore. ouch...that hurt different than anything ever has in the past.

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sad boy ale. :( keep reading, a lot is coming soon i promise i'm sorry that it's so boring rn