The Diary Of Iqbal Syed-A Raazi Fanfiction

Coping

Monday,

3rd May

11:15 P.M.

It has been less than twenty for hours since we've returned from Khan Sahab's funeral and I did not get a spare minute to check on Sehmat until a little while ago, such is the rush around the cantonment. Word is, India is planning on entering the East with the help of our rouge officers and citizens who have taken refuge in India. There is not much we can do right now, except be prepared to move quickly in case our regiments in East require assistance.

Munira bhabhi told me that Sehmat has kept unnaturally quiet ever since we've returned—something that I haven't failed to notice either—and that she has eaten very little all day, something I wasn't around to witness. Bhabhi told me that she retired to bed early today, although I am fairly certain that she is not asleep. I cannot help but feel worried about Sehmat. She does not seem to be coping well with the passing of her Father—of course, one cannot expect her to. What's worrisome is that she seems to have closed up and has stopped interaction except when absolutely necessary, which is not good. I've been through it, I'd know.

I know that I had clammed up when Ammi had died. I had stopped talking to everyone, even Bhaijaan. Being happy and acting normal felt too much like betraying Ammi, and to my eleven year old self making an effort to talk to people seemed so... unnecessary. But I know for a fact that if I had talked to someone through it, all of it would have been so much easier. Acceptance would have come much sooner. To be alone in a time like this is... it's not a good place in which to be, all dark and stifling with no one to show you the light.

I know that I want to help Sehmat, and also Abba, but again, I don't know how. How do you convince someone who has lost someone so important in their life—lost a parent—that things get better, that it's going to be okay? And how do you convince someone to lower the walls of the fortress that they have built and let you in?

I don't know, diary, but I'll have to find out.

Iqbal S.