Under my skin

Chapter 34 - Scars are eventually seen.

*Author’s note*

Hey everyone!

Sorry for not updating, I really hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

I have switched point of views quite a bit, but I wanted to make it more intense - I hope it works.

Life has been hectic, but the holidays are in about 8 weeks... there is still hope for me!!

And I have been playing guitar a bit :D

anyways, enjoy people!!

xo

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 Chapter 34 - @Julia_Golafshan (twitter) 

*Harry’s POV*

We’ve been on tour for a few weeks now, and together we’re all having fun.

After we flew out of London, we went to California, and did two concerts there; Ivy has come backstage to most of them, and from the looks of it, really enjoyed being at the concert.

But something’s wrong.

Around Niall, she puts on an incredibly happy face, and he doesn’t see that anything is wrong – but when she thinks nobody is looking, I can tell that something is very wrong.

Her real smile lights up her eyes and her whole face, and makes everyone feel comfortable... but this smile....

It’s just wrong.

Today the boys and I have a studio session, but I’m going to say I’m sick.

I need to find out what the problem with Ivy is, and as fast as possible.

*Ivy’s POV*

Since we came to California, I’ve gotten more and more of these cryptic online messages, which are really, really confusing me.

It’s almost like I have some stalker who knows about my past, and nearly everything about me.

The first message the creep ever sent me was on twitter, but now I get really strange emails, and text messages, and it’s all freaky.

I haven’t told anyone about it, and Niall has absolutely no clue, but I hope to keep it that way.

As long as this weird online person doesn’t actually do anything, I should be fine.

I’ve limited the self-pity to cutting, which I haven’t stopped, ashamed as I am to say that.

Today is a beautiful, sunny day as usual, and I think I’m going to go down to the beach, away from the boys for a little while.

I can never tan or swim with them because of my cuts, and because they can see them, so I usually do long distance school work when they go to the beach.

It sucks, but it’s my own fault.

The walk down to the beach was beautiful – there was a light breeze that ran through my hair, and the feeling of the white sand on my bare feet was incredible.

I had shorts and a top on over my bikinis, but I also had a huge pair of sunglasses so no-one could tell who I was; I’ve had a quite a bit of ‘interesting’ publicity lately.

The press found out about my father, and one direction had to pay a lot to keep them silent.

I didn’t ask them to, but Niall told me he would do anything to keep me safe and calm, and I know he means that with all his heart.

I spread out the towel on the soft sand, and took off my top and shorts.

My scarred skin was exposed to the world, but I didn’t care – the only people I didn’t want to see it were the five lads.

I lay down, and fell asleep quite fast, soaking up the warm sun in a beautiful tan...

Until somebody shook me awake.

*Harry’s POV*

Ivy didn’t go anywhere but the beach, which I was glad about, so at least she’s not seeing anyone secretly, or anything like that.

In fact, all she did was lie down and sleep!

I know that sounds really normal, but for some reason whenever we go to the beach, Ivy always makes up an excuse not to go, which I find really strange.

So why on earth would she go alone?

I walked up closer to her to wake her up, so I could ask her why she was here – it’s one thing to escape from management, but I definitely would not sneak around Ivy’s back.

But as I shook her awake, I noticed something on her arms, and then on her legs...

Scars.

A lot of them.

*Ivy’s POV*

As I was jolted awake, the first thing I saw was Harry – as well as me, he had on sunglasses and a jacket, so I’m guessing he didn’t want to be noticed either.

But instead of his usual joyful, happy face, his face was one of anger and confusion, a face I had never seen before on the gentleman Harry Styles.

“What is it? What’s wrong??” I asked frantically, looking around; I had no idea what could be wrong.

“You. You’re what’s wrong,” he said in an extremely angry voice, and instantly I knew what was wrong.

I grabbed the towel off the sand, and wrapped it around my body, not allowing any of my skin to be seen except for my feet and my face.

“Why don’t you go and mind your own business?” I exclaimed angrily, and without letting him say anything more, I stormed off.

But before I could leave, he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around my eyes facing his, and in that position, I had no choice but to sit down.

“We NEED to talk, Ivy,” he said, and I groaned; I guess scars can’t hide forever.

I threw my shorts and top back on, hiding my legs under the towel.

“What do you want to know, huh? When it started? Why I do it? Why my life is so freaking messed up?” I screamed at him, and a few people who were walking casually along the waves stopped to stare at me.

I didn’t care though – the amount of embarrassment I felt that someone now knew that I mutilate myself...

I just didn’t care.

“Ivy, don’t say that, I just want to help!” Harry’s eyes pleaded with me to talk to him, and before I could stop it, tears started to pour down my face.

Sometimes I really hate being such a girl.

I turned away, not wanting him to see me, but he put his hand on my chin and turned my face back to his.

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, he leaned in.

And kissed me.