RUN | HYUNSUNG ✔️

18

''hyunjin,'' chan said where he was sitting across from him. ''i-i thought about how i was acting,,, i really like you.''

the boy gasped lightly, world stopping and dropping the cookie he had been holding. ''you like me?''

''yeah,'' he laughed sheepishly, looking a bit awkward. ''so, wanna be my boyfriend?''

''i- yes,'' hyunjin replied, afraid that if he wasted that split moment the decision would be lost. ''yes, of course.''

chan kissed him; it felt weird. it felt out of place to see the male smile at him so softly.

he felt heartbroken, surprisingly, his heart pulling down in his chest and making it hard to breathe for him.

and he figured it was just some initial shock, maybe a little fear of what would happen.

but the feeling lasted; every time chan hugged him or kissed him or did whatever it just felt wrong, like he wasn't supposed to.

when he had told jisung the boy had just nodded, giving him a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

it came to a point where he dreaded seeing chan, knowing the older would just keep calling him pet names and telling him sweet things; it felt forced.

''stop trying to get me in a headspace,'' he finally snapped, annoyed. ''is that what this was all about?''

he felt sad that all his fantasies of chan being his boyfriend were thrown to shit, mostly feeling angered with everything.

''what? no,'' chan denied, stopping his attempts of trying to kiss him when he kept avoiding it. ''what are you even saying?''

''i just think it's convenient how right when i find another dom, you decide to like me,'' hyunjin huffed, crossing his arms. ''like you're doing it just to bother jisung.''

chan's face softened and he wasn't sure how much he could trust the expression. ''jinnie,'' he mumbled. ''do you like jisung?''

''no,'' the younger groaned. ''i like you!'' it sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

''but you hate it when i touch you,'' chan explained, voice turning more sad. ''why?''

''you force it,'' hyunjin breathed, tears building up in his eyes. ''it makes it feel like you're expecting something from me that i can't give you.''

''at least let me try,'' he almost pleaded. ''kiss me back once, please, i want you to so bad.''

hyunjin sighed, leaning forward and connecting their lips for a lingering kiss.

chan put a hand on the back of his hand and swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, hyunjin opening up even if it was too fast.

the boy went along with the strokes of chan's tongue, too fast, too much.

it felt like his head was spinning in a bad way, pushing back against his boyfriend weakly with furrowed eyebrows.

soon enough they came to the point he was dreading, chan pushing him back so that he would lay down on the floor and hovering over him.

when chan pulled back and smiled at him it took effort for him not to look away. ''puppy~''

''no,'' hyunjin denied, honestly surprised because in other situations he would've slipped in mere seconds. ''not puppy.''

''did you- did you like it?'' chan asked, still laying on top of him to keep him caged against the floor.

and hyunjin nodded, telling himself that the feelings would come back soon enough, attempting a soft smile. ''i did.''

chan took it as an invite for more, diving back in for another kiss and cradling the back of his head so he couldn't escape.

but it was fine, hyunjin knew how to kiss. he could just push back as long as chan didn't notice.

he felt more awkward knowing jisung could come in any second, knowing that the door to their dorm was open.

when chan pulled away again he was frowning, turning to one of sadness to anger and raising his knee to push it into his crotch, putting pressure on it.

''don't,'' hyunjin warned raising his knees and pulling them up to make his crotch unreachable. ''i don't want you to do that.''

''is something wrong?'' chan asked, removing his knee and having their faces inches apart.

and it was his boyfriend, he shouldn't be bothered because of him, spreading his legs again and ignoring how it made him feel weak in a bed way.

''sorry, go ahead.'' he apologised, the older thinking it might've been an accident and diving right back in for another kiss.

chan put his knee right back on his crotch, smiling against his lips when hyunjin forced out a soft mewl.

''like that, cutie,'' chan praised. ''you know how sweet you always sound for sir, hm?''

hyunjin just nodded, hurting.

-

hello explanation time for people who are confused !!!

hyunjin doesn't know that he doesn't have a crush/isn't in love with chan anymore because he's so used to it.

it's been y e a r s of him pining after chan, so it makes sense that he took the chance to be his boyfriend.

now he doesn't feel anything for chan, but because he finally has him he's trying really hard to like him, he feels guilty.