Waited all night for you to come home
I always hated sleeping alone
Watching the roses wither away
Wishing the memories would die out the same
I waited all night, yeah, you never came
You stared at the wall of your bedroom, occasionally stealing a glance or two at the door. You were waiting for Mark to come home. The blankets were piled on his side of the bed because you knew it wouldn't matter. You couldn't sleep without him. Getting out of the bed, a place that you normally never wanted to leave, you trudged down the stairs. You hoped Mark would walk through the front door, handing you flowers like he usually did. At the thought of flowers, you glanced at the window where the bouquet of roses he had gotten you last week sat. The ends that were once red and beautiful were now beginning to wither away. Sighing, you turned away quickly. The thought of it hurt. You glanced at the door again but now it was settling in. Mark Sloan wasn't coming home.
I miss the long nights under street lights
When our hearts are made of gold
I miss the feeling that we had then
We were never growing old
Yeah, I miss it all
"Come on, Mark! We're going to be late." You shrieked, trying to catch up with your boyfriend. Mark stopped abruptly, putting his hands on your hips and kissing you in front of God and everybody. It was like you were a teenager again. That's what it felt like. Standing in front of Seattle Grace Hospital, people gawked and awed at the two of you but you still didn't care.
"I'll see you after the flight, gorgeous." He winked and the two of you walked inside.
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that." You exclaimed after remembering the conjoined twins separation in Idaho that was supposed to happen today. "I can't believe that you got in on that." You made a face. This was the one surgery that you wanted to be involved in and, of course, the other plastic surgeon was chosen instead.
"They'll be more." He smirked, kissing you once more before starting morning rounds. You walked off to start your own round.
Everyone's trying to help me move on
They say it gets better in the long run
I guess I've had a couple good days
But nobody's eyes shine quite the same way
I waited all night, yeah, you never came
"Y/N, how are you feeling?" Bailey pat you on the back as you walked back into the hospital. You took a brief leave of absence and this was your first day back at the hospital. You smiled at you colleague and nodded.
"Better." You admitted. You still looked tired and sleep-deprived but you were actually feeling a little better. Bailey gave you a look of sympathy that you tried to ignore. Sympathy was something you didn't want. Yet, you got it everywhere you went. Maybe it was because you acted like someone that just lost their husband. More looks of sympathy came your way and people whispered about you as you walked through the hospital. They couldn't believe what you were going through.
"Y/N!" Someone called and, suddenly, you were being hugged. You didn't try to move the person since they were familiar to you. When you finally moved away, Callie was wiping her eyes as she stared at you. "I'm so sorry..."
"None of that." You spoke quickly, interrupting the rest of whatever Callie was going to say. She nodded, wiping her face again. It was the first time that she had seen you since Mark had passed and she wasn't sure what to say. After standing in silence for a few seconds, you finally found your words. "Does it get better though?" You spoke softly, showing the vulnerable side that you possessed. Callie smiled softly again.
"It will." She patted you on the shoulder again and walked off, promising to check in on you.
Waited all night for you to come home
I always hated sleeping alone
I hope that the lipstick I left on your face
Stays red like the roses I laid on your grave
After your shift, you took a drive. A drive to the cemetery that Mark was buried in. The place was kind of nice. In a morbid kind of way. You got out of the car, carrying a bouquet of roses similar to the one's Mark bought you before he died. Approaching his grave, you smiled again.
"Hey." You spoke. It may have seemed weird, talking to a grave, but you felt that he could actually hear you. "I'm-uh- I'm doing okay, you know. You don't have to worry about me anymore, Mark." You reminded the grave that held your husband. You remained silent and set the flowers down in front of the gravestone. "Love you." Tears pricked at your eyes as you remembered your last moments with him.
"It's gonna be fine, babe." He told you while lying in the hospital bed. You grabbed his hand in order to reassure yourself. Mark squeezed it gently. "I love you."
"Well, I love you too and it's normal for me to be worried." You answered, quickly wiping the tears from your eyes. Everyone thought that this was just the surge period. Mark's last bit of energy would start to show and then that would be it. He'd fall into a coma and possibly not wake up.
"You can be worried but for the right reasons." He countered. Your lips turned into a smile and you shook your head. "There it is." Mark said, referring to the smile on your face. You shoved him lightly. Your pager went off suddenly. 911 in the ER. Groaning, you stood up.
"I gotta go." You hesitated. What if he wasn't there when you were done? Mark sensed your hesitation and kissed your hand.
"I'll be here when you get back." He paused. "I'm not going anywhere." You breathed a laugh and kissed his cheek, leaving lipstick on it. You laughed as he tried to wipe it off.
"I'll be back."
And that was the last time you saw him alive. You kissed your hand and touched the gravestone before beginning to walk away. As you satin your car, you could see the red of the roses from where you sat. You'd probably never get over it but at least you knew that Mark saw you. That he loved you. That was all you could ask for.
