I can't breathe. I can't breathe. He is coming. He is coming to hurt me. Panic bubbled in my chest and I shot up from the recliner. My hand flew to my chest as i gasped. A thin sheen of sweat covering my brows.
"Calm down Yasmeen, I'm here. He can't hurt you anymore " the black doctor said. I don't know how he did it, but he made me talk. I told him everything. It felt so real, it was like reliving the nightmare.
"Have some water" he said handing me a glass. It was week four of my cognitive behaviour therapy. Turns out, I have post traumatic stress disorder. Its why I panic when a strange man comes close to me or tries to talk to me.
"Now I want you to think of all the good men you know, can you call them out for me?" I nodded faintly and began listing. It was relaxing. My dad, my brothers... My breathing was coming back to normal.
"Do you trust all these men to not hurt you?" I nodded.
"The man that hurt you is one out of all those yes?" I nodded again.
"One out of seven. Not everyone will hurt you. Correct?" I nodded again, the ball in my throat slowly dissolving.
"So i need you to see other men as the good ones, not the bad one that hurt you. Can you do that for me?" I nodded again.
*
"Thank you Doctor " i said and he smiled sweetly at me.
"You're welcome " today was intense. All the other sessions were about with him trying to get me to talk. Today, he cracked my wall and my knees are still shaking as a result of it.
"Doctor, is the therapy free?" I ask. I don't want him to attack me with an elephant sized bill at the end. I can't afford therapy without my brother's help. That means i have to tell them what happened.
"No it isn't. But its been paid for"
"Who by?" I ask.
"A friend " i had questions but i decided to let it rest. I need to get out of here.
****
"Today we are going to talk about your triggers. Can you tell me the things that trigger your panic attack?" The prince's face flashes in my mind and my heart sped up. I was hooked up to a heart monitor.
"S-strange men" he nodded
"Okay, what else?" He asks, scribbling on his notepad.
"Movies about assault " i swallowed hard, remembering when i almost died because of a movie about a rapist.
"Go on" the prince's face comes up again and i force it away.
"That's it"
"You sure? Nothing else? No one in particular?" I shook my head no.
"Do you mind if i invite someone to help us?" i shook my head no. Talking becomes a task during these therapy sessions.
He moved to his table and made a quick call. Then he was back next to the electrocardiogram. My heart rate had evened out significantly and i laid just wondered why he needed help.
The door pushed open and the prince walked into the room. My throat closed up completely and my heart rate skyrocketed.
"What-what is he..." i couldn't compete my question because I was struggling to get enough oxygen into my lungs.
"He is you biggest trigger. Why did you avoid telling me " i couldn't speak. I just shook my head as i saw Sani approaching me with a sinister smile and a leather belt.
