The Artist's Wife (BWWM)

Chapter 32~ Me To Be

Listen to "Stay" by Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko.

You know that sinking feeling associated with missing a step when descending a flight of stairs? That feeling in your gut that tells you when you're about to fall? That sudden fear and helplessness? Well, what I was experiencing right now could be described like that.

Then multiply it by about a thousand times.

The girl in the picture is your twin, I didn't know why but that statement kept replaying in my head, each one louder than the last. I placed both hands on both ears and shook my head furiously trying to shake it off.

It couldn't possibly be true!

Meanwhile, Gerard was just staring down at the picture, obviously trying hard to avoid eye contact with me. I stared down at him, still unable to process anything.

"I'm not a twin," I finally managed to say, wondering if I was slowly running mad, it seemed like a more plausible explanation for what was happening. "I was an only child."

Gerard sighed, running his hand through his hair and getting up from the bed. "Karina, you want to know why I have the scar on my back?"

I gave a stiff nod.

"Come with me then." He reached for a white tee and pulled it over his glorious body while I just stood there with my arms crossed and a look that could be described as a mix between rage and confusion.

I followed him out of the room and out of the castle, disregarding the fact that I was still wearing only the oversized, navy blue hoodie and black flip flops with my hair and face probably looking like they had seen better days. Gerard had been walking ahead of me but I caught up to him after a few moments; I suspected that he had slowed down for me.

I stared at his beautiful face, biting down on my lips to stop myself from saying words I would regret later. He met my eyes half a second later, and I noticed his eyes were soft and tears had pooled up in them and threatened to spill out. Gerard wanted to cry?

"Nine years ago," he started, shifting his gaze from mine and staring straight ahead. "September first, nine years ago, I got that scar in a car crash."

September 1, my birthday.

Maybe it was because I was already used to hearing bad news. After all, nothing good ever happened to me or because it was the fact that I was suffering from a certain type of pain numbness as my old therapist; Dr Reynolds would say but I accepted this new piece of information with a small nod. And a blink.

He paused for so long that I thought he had finished talking but then I heard that deep baritone again, it broke thickly as he continued and I looked up to discover a solitary tear falling down his face.

"Nine years ago, on that day." He shut his eyes, evidently in deep pain. "I killed your sister, I killed Isabella by mistake. I hit her with my car on her birthday."

"What?" It sounded unreal like he was making it all up. "You're lying. I don't have a sister."

"You do, Karina." His tears were full-on flowing now. "Bella. I killed the love of my life with my own hands."

She died on our birthday.

This time, I received the news with a faint blow to the heart. Why did the fact that my so-called twin sister died in an accident feel so mundane to me at the moment? I was more interested in finding out why I wasn't aware of this person's presence till now.