it's a bad religion
to be in love with
someone who
could never love you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
in which an on-screen genius creates an off-screen disaster.
*completed on 4/24/2020*
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
*time skip to: september 28, 2017*
his fingers doodled across my bare shoulder as he placed featherlight kisses on the back of my neck. he runs his pointer finger from the peak of my shoulder and down my body, his cold fingertip leaving a thermal trail down to my hip. a giggle escaped my lips and i turn to face the messy haired brunette. our faces laid close together, our noses only centimeters apart. he smiles at me as he pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear, resting his hand on my cheek.
"hi." i smile, and he laughs softly.
"hi." he gushes, nudging my nose with his.
i lean forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before quickly pulling away.
"i hope you don't think i'm the easy type because i've already slept with you and we're not even dating yet."
he raises his eyebrow at me as he leans his head up on his hand.
"if i can't be judged for it, then you shouldn't be either. in this house, women are allowed to indulge in whatever sexual pleasure they like without a fear of label or being judged."
i raise my eyebrow at him, sitting up slightly as i clutch his baby blue sheets to my body.
"have there been many women in this house?"
"none that compare to you." he recites, making me roll my eyes and he pulls me back down to him.
"speaking of...um...i wanted to talk to you about something." i say, biting my lip.
"what's up, babydoll?" he says as he snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
"i need you to know that i'm still getting over matthew. i- i'm not saying that i still have feelings for him or anything. we barely speak to each other anymore and it's helped alot. you have helped a lot. but he was the only man i ever felt anything towards for the last eight years of my life. and we were friends for so long. best friends at that. he was one of the most important men in my life and then suddenly he wasn't. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm still trying to figure out how to transition from that. how to love somebody else. how to make another man important, because i haven't had to do that for the last decade of my life. and i need you to understand that i'm trying. i really am. and i'm not making you stay. if you don't want to have to deal with the emotional baggage, then i get it. but i wanted you to know that before either of us decide to take this any further." i explain, a nervous pit balling up in my stomach.
he simply gives me a small smile, grazing his thumb over my cheek.
"you told me the first night we met that you didn't have much faith in love. and here we are, almost two months later. and you're telling me that you're trying to figure out how to love another man that isn't him. i'd say that's progress. so baby, take your time. because i'll be here. i'll be here with boba or coffee or tea or an ice cold water bottle. i'll be here with hot packs and blankets and glee, which by the way i think it's funny that you're such a big fan because you didn't even recognize me when we first met- anyways...the point is, is that i'm stuck like glue. so take your time. figure it out. we can take this at whatever pace you'd like. as long as i get to kiss you and hold your hand and take you to target at 10pm because you always forget to buy milk whenever you grocery shop." he laughs, making me smile.
