boulder → l.h ⋆ m.c

i promised myself i wouldn't let you complete me

:november 15, 2016

     24 hours, 49 minutes.

     michael has been without luke for 24 hours and 49 minutes and every single second was agonizing and michael felt like his soul had been ripped out. he had no idea where luke was, or if he was even okay.

     michael forced himself to get out of bed, but he retreated back under the covers as soon as he saw one of luke's shirts hanging over the back of a chair.

     "hey, it's me. it's mike. i just- i uh- i miss you."

     "hey, it's michael. you might not even get this. uh, i need- i- please come back."

     "please come back to me, lu."

     "i have no idea where you are or- or if you're even okay. are you- you're okay, right? y-y- i can't lose you. please be safe."

     "how could you just- just fucking leave me like that?"

     "it's- it's super late. it's really late. you're probably a-asleep. i hope you are. but in the morning, call me? i miss you."

     luke wouldn't ever receive any of these voicemails. michael didn't know this. by the time michael sent these messages, luke's phone was in the bottom of the hudson.

     michael wouldn't ever know about this.

     two days later, michael finally forced himself to move on. he left seattle and made his way down to san diego with a seemingly permanent lump in his throat as he prayed for luke to come back to him.

     michael would city-hop on his own for the next three years. he would sleep in shitty motels and steal shitty cars and eat shitty food.

     he never quite got over luke, he realized the day luke called him from nashville.

     michael was in san antonio, debating trying to cross the border into mexico and just restart his life. he decided against this, however, when he remembered that he was indeed a fugitive and would be stopped immediately.

     michael sighs as he hangs up the phone and drops it into his lap. he doesn't want to meet luke in dallas. he wants to drive in the opposite direction and never think about him again.

     but something about luke still intrigued him like no other. it was almost magnetic, michael felt like, and he dropped everything to drive to dallas.

     michael swore to himself that he wouldn't let luke complete him again and he felt 19 again as he made the ridiculous promise to himself.

:january 15, 2015

     "i'm scared, mikey." luke whispers as he lays with his head on michael's chest.

     "why?" michael asks, rubbing luke's back softly as they tangle their legs together under the sheets.

     "i don't want this to end." luke says shakily.

     "it won't, lu."

     "i'm terrified of commitment." luke replies. "i'm scared if i let myself get too close to you i'll fuck it up."

"i feel like that too." michael sighs.

"i promised myself i wouldn't let you complete me." luke whispers. "i broke the promise."

"i'm glad."