❝ so NOW i RISK it ALL,
just for the FEELING of JOY
you BRING me ❞
[ bill denbrough x oc ] [it 2017]
-
in which the sunshine girl of derry
offers six boys and one girl a friendship bracelet each,
ending up in a mess of a friendship and summer of...
APRIL HAS NEVER FELT MORE... Crazy. She begins to think, pondering in her head as she sits in front of her full body mirror, her hair messy and breathing heavy as she attempts to make whatever has just happened make sense. Blood trickling down her arm and body shaking as she struggles to gently pat a towel against it. She wasn't sure how she'd... Hide this. It was decently large enough, why had she scratched that into her skin? And, where did the bugs go? She hums a soft note hoping to calm herself down, cleaning the bloodied gashes with the towel-- it didn't even look like she has scratched it. Her nails were far too short to cause this.
Staring at her reflection, she tries to remind herself of what's real and what's not. But, at this point, she's not even sure. Maybe, she should tell her mom. Show her the gash? 'No,' She thinks, sucking in a weak breath. 'She'll think me batty,'. It wouldn't make sense -- coming home with a clean tanktop and woundless arm and coming down from her bedroom with blood all over her hands and under her nails and her arm.
'Defintely not,' She shakes her head. Sighing and biting her lip as she paranoidly looks behind her to the overturned hamper -- empty besides the few articles of clothing flooding the mouth of it. They has just... Disappeared! Aprilbarely understood what she felt, the once giggly and fluttery feeling in her stomach disappearing and replaced with a sick, queasy, gross, feeling. She felt as if there were bugs in her throat and that her ribcage was just about to crack.
She didn't know what to do. Simple as that. Too scared to get up from the crosslegged position she sat in on the floor. Her old, faded, Looney Tunes shirt sat crumpled into a lump next to her. Shakily, she drops the small towel to the side of her -- checking her arm and seeing that the bleeding was beginning to stop and reaching behind her to unclasp her bra, slipping it off and reaching for the t-shirt lump, uncrumpling it. Her hands quivering as she lifts it over her head and pulls her head through and with uneven breathes she flattens it against her body, letting her teeth chatter as she tells herself 'Stand up, now. April, stand up,' It repeated over and over in her head before she pushes arms against the ground to get up.
"Okay, good, good. Um, uh..." She whispers to herself as she stands in place, the shirt fully uncrumpled and reaching her mid-thigh, her jeans off now too. She sucks in a heavy breath, biting her lip. "Ah, gauze, yes. That," She goes on, her eyes wide as they dart around the room. Convienently enough, she kept a first-aid kit in her room -- after all those times she had nipped her finger with a sewing needle while doing an embroidery, it just became the most logical thing to do.
Hobbling on her legs, she wanders towards her desk. Pulling the drawer open with ease, her body stumbling back at how easily it slid open. Perhaps, it wasn't easy. Maybe, everything was just startling her because of what just happened. Her hands fall to her sides limply and she stares into the drawer blankly. Her eyes searching for the medium-sized white case with contained a variety of medical supplies. 'Ironic. We patched up Ben today,' She thinks to herself as he eyes land on the case and her hands reach for it.
Pulling the cool plastic case out and opening it up, she shuffles through it and pulls out the antiseptic, cotton pads, bandanges, and gauze. Huffing and clicking her tongue once again, she spills some of the antiseptic onto a single pad, looking down at the dampness before pulling her bottom lip under her top and biting down on it harshly before slapping the pad against her arm. Hissing out in pain, much like how she did when Eddie had cleaned the scab on her knee, she pulls the cotton pad away, it being stained with bright blood and she had no choice but to do it again.
Continuing the process, she cleans the scratch throughly before wrapping her arm with the gauze and bandaging it. Once satisfied, she let the sleeve of the shirt she wore flop back over the dressing so that it wasn't noticable. She was able to dress it subtly enough. Hopefully, she'd be able to play it off. She begins to clean the mess she had made, tossing the supplies she had used back into the case messily before snapping it shut and placing it into her drawer once again.
She was tired, her eyes drooping and her muscles aching. Her throat still felt as if bugs were attempting to crawl out and she still had a glassy look in her eyes. Staying in place at her desk, she turns, looking towards her light switch. Contemplating whether she was brave enough to sleep with the light off or not.
She wasn't.
♧
Everything had felt like a dream. No, not a dream. A dream isn't scary. A nightmare. Waking up was surreal, April thought as she walked around her quiet bedroom. The sun spilling out and into her room, keeping it brightly-lit and had she not of been so terrified still -- she'd probably think it beautiful. However, here she was.
Her hand tapping against her thighs as she stares into her closet. An array of pastel colours and florals staring back at her. Most of them being dresses. April preferred them over jeans -- they were much more comfortable, mostly because she simply just didn't like the feeling of wearing pants when not necessary. Shorts, sure. Dresses, defintely. Loose pants, tolerable. Jeans? Not likely.
Scrunching up her nose, she bites the inside of her lip and reaches out to grab a navy blue and white floral dress with short puff sleeves at her forearm which would cover the bandage wrapped around her arm. She wasn't sure how she'd hide the dressing at the quarry. In all honesty, she might not even be able to hide it -- she was worried that when Bill picked her up she'd blurt out what had happened.
Oh, no. She couldn't do that. She needed to stay quiet, he'd think she's crazy! She wouldn't have any friends anymore. No, no. She couldn't tell him. She has to lie. Oh, yes. She has to lie! It seemed easy enough to think but April couldn't help the lump that formed at the pit of her stomach -- not sure how she'd keep composure. Not sure how she'd look at this boy, this boy her made her stomach do sommersaults for whatever reason, into the eye and tell him a lie!
'This is my downfall' She thinks to herself, running a hand through her hair once she's fully dressed in the dress and frilly white socks on her feet. She sucks in a breath. "Just don't think it. Just say it," She mumbles to herself before looking to the alarm clock on her nightstand. It's 11:45. He'll be here soon. 15 minutes to master a lie.
