Why The Bad Boy?

Genetically Modified

The drive back to the mansion is quiet, the only sound is the car's air-conditioning blowing heat to my face. What was I thinking back there? I can't hurt Shane, I'm pregnant, and he's dying. I can't believe our one night of passion lead to this unbearable mistake. We've broken every bit of that contract. I'm going to need strength if I'm going to keep up this facade. Never in a thousand years would I have thought I would be in this position. How about Shane? I stare at his worried face and tired eyes. I can't help the guilt consuming me. He's wounded by my words creating an overwhelming emotional tug at my heart. I love him and he loves... me? Those words he said, brought forth an imposter. That energy and excitement to have a child, that man at the hospital was so out of character. I fear Shane has lost his mind. I broke Shane Green. What is he thinking right now? Shane, I love to hate you. Why now? Why did he have to say sweet nothings to me now? He wasn't in love with me. He couldn't be...could he?

At first, I told him I loved Noah, I regretted it soon after. His enlightenment vanished and all the love in his eyes was replaced with worry, and perhaps disappointment. I should feel happy about the news, yet I can't stop questioning whether I have the right to be. I mean, at this moment we are both fighting a great battle and it might get messy with a baby in between. I'm starting to think this is the unexpected news my horoscope spoke of.

"Fairydust–"

"–Shane," we interrupt each other.

Shane slides his warm hand to my cold one, interlocking our fingers. "I understand you doubt loving me. If you're not over that asshole that's also okay. I know we are breaking all the rules here, but I think we should keep the baby. As you are aware, I avoided having children like the plague. With this family dynamic, who can get excited about bringing offsprings? No doubt that's what life intended for me. But here I am excited to have a child with you. Life has a good way of messing with me. I will accept my fate, I won't fight this. Take your time getting over him, because I'll be right here for you and my child. Maybe one day you can grow to love me, right? I mean, what's not to love, right?" He glances at me with glistening eyes and a smirk.

I snort out. "Of course you have to go there. Narcissist much? What's not to love? Really? I have a page full."

"Fine, fine. Shhh..." His index finger is on my lips and the back of his hand caresses my cheek. "You're still cold Fairydust," he says. I can't help but immerse myself into this warmth he's offering.

My cheeks burn pink sending a current between my legs. I accidentally moan and snap out of it staring wide eyes at him in embarrassment.

Shane smirks. He stops full turkey, and I'm left in agony. He knows exactly how to sway me.

"I know I should be the last person saying this, for this reason, I should point out, Noah doesn't deserve you. You should forget about giving him a second chance." His hands are back on the steering wheel. I yearn for his touch. Touch me, my love. "I know you don't love him. He can't please you as I do. He's a boy, Fairydust, who doesn't know what to do with you. You excite me with no end, and I'm willing to fight anyone for you. This is more than sexual. I know to you I may be some toy you can coo over. But my feelings are true."

"WHAT? Oh, you are full of yourself, Shane."

"I know, thanks. So what should we do about this?"

I laugh. He is going crazy. I wonder what he can read from my expression. I don't know if I have the energy to keep lying to Shane. I'm empty. I can't keep this child when it means I have to lose him, right? He will die. Nothing feels right. Nothing goes right for me.

"What if this is a mistake Shane? Instead of a blessing, what if this child is a curse?"

"Do you hear yourself? Moving forward I want you to know there is no mistake about any of this. I don't want to hear shit like that, Fairydust. I want you to think of our child as a positive being. A child is a blessing, just like the doctor said. I will be here for every step. Every sonogram. Every moment holding your hands, I promise you that."